Torchwood random short tales
by takisys
Summary: As the title said it: That’s random short stories wrote previously in French for different challenges. So it can be pretty much anything: check the warnings at the beginning of each one.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Celebrate Your Uniqueness.

**Beta**: Jooles34

**Challenge: Tent  
Characters/ pairings: **Jack, Ianto, Owen, Gwen &Tosh  
**Rating: **PG-13

**Summary:** Ianto's train of thought just before everything goes completely askew.

**Warnings: **Angst.Be careful about what you wish for.

**Spoilers**: Countryside. If you haven't already guessed from the title!

**Disclaimer: **Of course I'm not making any money out of this, only the BBC and RTD are allowed to, not that I'm so sure they ought to after killing you know who…

**Author's note:** Written for: .com/31_jours/ challenge.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ianto had now unloaded canvas, poles, mallets and tent pegs as well as the rest of the equipment. Army tents. Just one would have sheltered the five of them, but _He_ had him pack three of them. Of course _He_ wasn't the one who had to carry them. _He_ wasn't the one who was to unpack them and then to pitch them. No way. _He_**,** of course, being Jack Harkness.

No, Jack was sitting there in the SUV passenger seat; door open, lost in thought, studying the map as if it could give him an insight into the disappearances.

Meanwhile, Ianto had to do the job on his own. Of course, that was what he had signed up for. But not here in the countryside facing the elements.

He wasn't supposed to go out on the field. He was the, skivvy, sure, but back at the Hub. Not here. He wished the wind would stop; he was tired of fighting against it. At least the girls were helping, or pretending to anyway. As for the doctor, he was only good for messing around and complaining.

And these tents? Where did he find them? They ought to be in some kind of museum. Tents nowadays just had to be thrown at the ground and they would pop up as they landed gently on the soil. He should keep up to date, our Captain.

And why three tents when there were five of them?

One for the girls, okay, he got that. But that left three men and two tents.

He couldn't imagine sharing one with Owen. He would just tease him, reminding him every now and then what little slut he was. No, had been. Although the doctor would probably refuse vehemently anyway.

As for the Captain, Ianto didn't think he would have the guts to sleep by his side. Not that he worried that his boss would try to take advantage of him. No, since Lisa, since Jack had find out that it had just been about distracting him from discovering Lisa, the man has been nothing but professional around him. And the worst part of that was that it made him feel even guiltier… He couldn't even blame Jack for harassing him; hold _that_ against him.

But what Ianto really feared was to end up alone in the last tent, like the traitor he was, like a Judas.

No really, he could take anything but that. Anything, but sleeping this night alone in one of those cavernous tents. He wished for that not to happen.

And as the Lord's ways are only known to thee, they were never to use those tents… But it was not the answer to his prayer that Ianto had wished for.

End.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Hands off, Sir  
**Beta **: **jooles34**  
**Character pairing**: Jack/Ianto

**Rating**: PG-13

**Summary**: Ianto is not in for exhibitionism.

**Warnings**: Just for fun. Pure fluff

**Spoilers**: Not that I can think of.

**Author's note**: Written for the Endless night challenge: stuck your characters in the dark without getting into NC-17, not easy when Jack is around. Happening sometime during season two.

**Disclaimer**: Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD even if he doesn't deserve them.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

This was an emergency so they just rushed into the City Hall elevator without thinking twice about it. Which was a bad idea; the staircase would have been the safer choice in the middle of an electrical storm. They didn't even make it to the second floor before the whole city was plunged into a blackout.  
And that was how Ianto got stuck in a lift with the infamous captain Jack Harkness. There was just the two of them in the dark. Although it was probably better it was just the two of them, as Ianto wasn't sure Jack would have minded if a third person was there.  
The good thing was, if the blackout could last as least 10 minutes the problem that had brought them here in the first place would be solved. The bad thing was that he had no guarantee on how long they had before the lights came back on.  
Keeping Jack in line for ten minutes was somewhat challenging, especially in these circumstances. Seriously, the man was excited by any office stuff, or anything office related in any way. Being trapped in the City Hall elevator was the kink of a kink to him.  
As soon as the lights went out Jack switched into flirting mode. "So it seems that it's just you and me, Mr. Jones" he said mischievously.  
Ianto backed off immediately only to be stopped by the reality of the wall. He managed to slide along it just to find a strong harm waiting for him and blocking the way at the next corner. This it what you must call being corned, he thought.  
"Just the two of us, in the dark, trapped in an out of order elevator." Jack murmured tantalizingly.  
"Already done it, Sir." answered Ianto matter of factly.  
He could feel Jack's heat radiating and his pheromones spreading frantically. Ianto was already half hard and was sure the Captain would have been completely.  
"That's what I like about you Ianto; the naughty guy in a suit"  
Ianto could picture the grin on Jack face.  
"I'm just wondering how long it will be before those doors open, letting us be caught by a crowd of civil servants." Ianto spoke with a huskier voice than even he expected.  
Ianto was not going to be able to keep his mind clear for much longer. He had to act now or they were once again in for putting on a public display. Whatever his colleagues might think, Ianto was not much for exhibitionism. Not that Jack was either. In fact Ianto was beginning to believe the man wasn't even grasping the concept of it. For Jack, sex was just fun and fun should be shared, right?  
"What a kinky guy you are Mr. Jones." Jack said, his body now pressed against Ianto's, hands running under his jacket.  
Okay, let's be the kinky one, thought Ianto. He undid his tie and dragged the Captain in for a passionate kiss, all tongue and teeth, pinning his lover against the nearest wall. That's the good thing about a lift; there are plenty of walls and they're all very close.  
"God, I love it when you take control." Jack said as Ianto released his mouth just enough for them to catch their breath.  
"Yep, I know." Ianto told him, his voice husky with lust.  
Jack was now letting go completely, letting Ianto take the lead, making things easier for him, and before he realized what had happened the Captain had his hands tied securely behind his back and Ianto stepped away from him.  
"Ianto?" he asked, confused when Ianto stopped in the middle of such a promising game.  
"Stay quite, be nice and you'll be rewarded, I promise." Ianto explained.  
He fumbled around a bit to make sure they were both looking neat again and ready for the doors to open.  
"Ianto?" Jack asked after three minutes of complete silence.  
"Yes, Sir?"  
"Will you allow me to keep the tie?"  
"Sure"

End.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Jack, stop that, right now!  
Challenge: Stop it! (This one was really made for Jack)  
Fandom: Right, this is Doctor Who, but, as all my Doctor Who's fics are mostly focused on Jack, I will post them here.  
Characters : Jack, Rose, the Doctor (Nine of course) and the Tardis ( which is a sentient being, if you hadn't guessed)  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Just fluff

Summary: Jack can't stop himself from flirting at anytime.

Spoilers: Not that I can think of.

Disclaimer: Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD & the BBC for what I know of.  
Author's note: Originally written in French for lj 31 jours : .com/31_jours/

Beta: Jooles34

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Life with the Doctor was exciting, exhilarating and stressful. His poor human companions needed some rest. Not that the Doctor didn't enjoy reading a good book in the Tardis' fabulous library, comfortably settled in a welcoming armchair with a wonderful cup of tea by his side.

Rose had taken the sofa for her own and was meticulously covering her nails with the funny stuff Jack had bought for her on Alpha 4; the color could change at will.

Jack was playing chess against the Tardis, loosing game after game. He was clearly enjoying it though, his natural good mood not faltering.

The Tardis was humming softly; it was relaxing. Except…

"Jack, stop that, right now!" the Doctor said without raising his nose from his novel.

"Not doing anything, Doc." Jack protested a bit startled.

"Did you really think I wouldn't know?" The Doctor said.

Jack raised a puzzled eyebrow, his eyes meeting Rose's.

"Believe it or not, he's got eyes in the back of his head." Rose said.

"So, what have I done this time?"

"Probably nothing, it's just that you're so good at getting into trouble… He's just not used to seeing you so quiet"

Everybody went back to what they had been doing but not for long.

"Jaaack." the Doctor admonished again, still in his book.

"What's the problem? What am I doing wrong?" Jack asked innocently.

"Like you don't know !" The Time Lord answered, exasperated.

"But, I haven't done anything!" Jack protested with puppy dog eyes and going back to his game.

"Right! Because that's not you doing it!" Doctor said in a genuinely annoyed tone. And this time he had put the book down.

"Rose, please help me, because I really don't understand." Jack pleaded.

Rose was really beginning to wonder what all this fuss was about. Why was the Doctor so upset when for once, as it didn't happen often, Jack had been quiet for so long?

"I think he is jealous." she said teasingly.

"Jealous? What of?" Jack asked completely stunned.

"Not sure, something to do with the Tardis…."

"The Tardis?" Jack said with a puzzled look at the Time Lord.

"Yesterday he said something about you making it purr." Rose explained. "I've never heard it purring" she added.

"That's 'cause you're not a telepath" Jack explained fixing the Doctor with a look of delight.

"Right, I'm just a stupid ape." Rose said pouting.

"A lovely nice little ape, a really clever one." Jack comforted her.

"Oh, Jack, stop it!" said the Doctor again.

"What's now?"

"When it's not one, it's the other… you really can't stop yourself?"

"Blimey! You're right. He is jealous. But you only have to ask, Doctor. You should to know that by now!" Jack said mischievously, deliberately misunderstanding.

End.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Jack's Naked Glory  
**Beta:** **jooles34**  
**Character pairing**: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Owen.

**Rating**: PG-13

**Summary**: Guess who's on Rift Channel tonight?

**Warnings**: Just for fun. Pure fluff

**Spoilers**: Game station; does it mean something to you? If not, then it's a spoiler.

**Author's note**: Some times you just wake up with a strange idea. Set sometime at the end of season one.

**Disclaimer**: Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD even if he doesn't deserve them.

….

Tosh had spent the last two days studying a signal coming through the rift. Nothing worthy bothering about, was what Jack had said. It was some TV program from the future, nothing more. In fact it was a very bad TV program from the very far future…

It shouldn't have bothered Tosh either, except that she didn't want to believe that people could, one day, enjoy watching reality show in which the losers would lose their life.

"It's faked." Jack had assured without giving any reason for his conviction.

"Men are wolves to their own kind." Owen had stated before adding "And that kind of show is not going to help people out of their crap"

"Always the believer in human kind." Jack had mocked him.

"It's awful, I can't believe it. I just don't want to know about it." Gwen had said. And then had thrown herself in another pointless search for something, as the rift was really too calm.

Jack had said it was faked, but Tosh wanted to make sure of it. That and the fact that there was nothing else to do was why she had been watching these debilitating games for hours now.

"Oh." Tosh gasped as something caught her attention, or to be more precise, some_one_ did.

"What's the matter?" Gwen said without really caring.

"I can't believe it." Tosh said bemusedly.

"Did you find something?" Gwen asked now she had already been distracted from the files she was working on.

"You could say that. Come over here and have a look." Tosh said in a puzzled tone.

"I'm not sure I want to…" Gwen said "I'm not much in the mood for another _removal from life, _even if you say it's not going to happen for centuries".

"Milleni more likely. I'm still not sure about that. You definitely want to see this, Gwen."

Tosh had rewound the selected scene to the beginning as Gwen came reluctantly to stand by Tosh's side to watch it over her shoulder.

"Oh." Gwen gasped with the same surprise Tosh had minutes earlier.

"Isn't it… interesting?"

"Oh. Ooooooh, no way… It can't be…" Gwen said flushing slightly.

The two women exchanged a playful smile after having glanced towards their boss' office; the man was lost in paperwork.

"You should watch it to the end." Tosh suggested mischievously.

"Where the hell was that gun?" Gwen exclaimed.

"I don't think I want to know." Tosh answered with a fake disgusted grin.

"End of the show." she announced as the screen went blank, probably because the contestant of the game had fired on the two androids presenters as they were about to cut him into pieces.

"What's going on?" Owen asked coming back from the autopsy bay.

"Join in and give us your opinion." Gwen told him as Tosh starteding the recording from the beginning again.

"Harkness did porn in his youth." Owen smirked as the defabricator undressed his boss.

"It's hardly porn, even if it has got some of elements…." Gwen said mused.

"What is it about, Tosh? It's ridiculous. Look that tennis outfit. And what is that language?" Owen asked.

"I don't know. It's sound a bit like English, though. Language evolves, you know."

"Whoa. Where did that come from?" Owen jerked with a real disgusted grin as the gun appeared out of nowhere.

"What do you think? It is him, isn't it?" Gwen urged him.

"This is coming from the future, right?" the medic asked.

"As far as we know." Tosh answered.

She had rewound the tape and pause it where the man was facing the camera in all his naked glory.

"What do you say? Jack or not Jack?" she asked.

Owen checked the screen before saying. "Hey, how should I know? I'm not the expert here. I'm not the one facing that stuff."

"Coffee?" Ianto asked as he was just coming back from the archives.

"Here's the man we need." Owen greeted him "come and give us your expertise." he added.

Ianto came over cautiously. It wasn't like Owen to give him credit for anything other than his coffee.

Tosh played the recording from the beginning once again. Ianto didn't gasp. He kept a straight face all the way through. He just raised a surprised eyebrow at the gun scene.

"So?" The other three asked in unison.

"So what?" he asked flatly.

"Is it Jack?"Gwen urged him.

To emphasize the question Tosh had paused again on a scene where the man was shown to his best advantage. The two women were beginning to redden quite nicely with heat; Owen was watching with his disgusted smirk.

"It could be… except, that's from rift channel, right?" Ianto pointed out. "I've got coffee to brew, if you don't mind." With that Ianto left them frustrated and went to the kitchenette.

When he came back with the coffee, the two women were still studying the video. Ianto realised he hated the girls drooling at the naked man, because it _was_ Jack. Ianto had no doubt. He knew well every inches of that body perfectly. That was Jack, _his_ Jack.

Owen was back at his own workstation killing time with the last videogame he had found. He wasn't interested in Jack's anatomy. It was at least one good mark for the medic.

As soon as he had given them their coffee, he strode to Jack's office with the two last cups. Jack greeted his coffee like the addict he was; this was only the fifth of the day, after all.

"Thank you, Ianto." he said, taking the cup from Ianto's hands with haste and relief.

Ianto pondered for a minute about Jack, coffee and sex, then get back to his primary concern.

"I don't mind you doing nude videos, but I'd rather like them not to end up on my coworker's screen. It makes me feel like they're intruding in my sex life. I know you don't care, but I do."

Jack was staring at him, eyes wide open. Nude video? What was Ianto talking about? He was systematically wiping out all the data the CCTV recorded of their encounters, before anyone else saw it. At least he was trying, because thinking about it, he was not so sure Tosh couldn't beat him at this little game. If she was though, she was carefully keeping it to her self, and that was all it mattered to him. He didn't want Ianto to get upset and start turning him down.

"What video?" he asked cautiously.

"You in one of those stupid games with a robot that looks like some kind of playmobil toy, a ridiculously small gun… though when you consider where it was probably hidden… do I need to on?"

"Nope, I get it!" Jack said.

He couldn't believe it, but he got it. What were the odds? A large grin brightened his face as he remembered the time when these toys had flooded the market; he had found that so funny at the time.

The grin faded quickly as his met Ianto's eyes. His lovely Welshman was not in the mood for humour and it appeared … he was in trouble.

"Okay, then… let me take care of that." he said.

"Yeah, you better hurry up, 'cause I believe Tosh is working out a program to determine the size of your dick…"

He drank his coffee in one gulp and headed straight out to solve the problem.

"Okay girls, work to do. A flying soccer ball had been seen in Pentyrch."

"What?"

"Yeah, probably a joke, but we need to check just in case… So here you go. Hurry up." Jack urged them out.

The girls were very unenthusiastic, especially as they had spotted Ianto watching the little scene from Jack's office with an innocent smile.

"I bet everything will have vanished by the time we come back" Gwen said as they get in the car.

"Yeah, I'm sure it will." Tosh answered playing teasingly with her key ring.

"USB key?" Gwen asked.

"Yep"

"Okay, so that was him."

"It looks pretty much like it." Tosh answered.

"So, how can Jack be on a video coming from the future?"

"And more to the point, how can he look younger in it?"

End.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Saving Jack's Coat

**Beta:** **jooles34**  
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Myfanwy and Jack's coat  
Rating: **PG-13**  
summary: Missing scenes from Children of Earth

**Warnings: **Kleenex could be needed. It's about saving the coat not Ianto, for that you'll have to read my series. Myfanwy will be saved in this fic, though.

Spoilers: of course! For all of COE  
Disclaimer: Yes! They are not mine, but the BBC's . I'm still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD even if he doesn't deserve them.

**Author's note:** Adina Atl & Sam the storyteller in their stories _Nice Coat_ & _Care and Feeding _gave Jack's coat life; making it a living being. After COE, I wanted to save Jack's coat, because if that coat was a living being, there was no way Jack would have let it die with him if he could help it. So this is what really happened:

…..

He had been turned in a human bomb; there was no time left to even think of taking it out of him, but with a little help from providence, he could save the others.

First Gwen, because she was pregnant, although sending her away had not been easy.

Then Ianto. What the hell was with them? They were mortal, he wasn't. He didn't need them to die with him. He had to drag his lover to the stone of the invisible lift. He managed to take off his coat as he pulled the young man in for a last kiss. Then, as he shoved him back on the stone, he tucked the _Handkerchief_ in his pocket.

"Save your life. I'll come back, I always come back." Jack whispered, desperately trying not to sound terrified. Terrified of being blown to pieces, but even more terrified to lose him.

Ianto didn't make it to the surface.

Boom!

The explosion caught Ianto by surprise; he hadn't yet reached the surface. He staggered for a while. Beneath him the Hub was no more than a very big hole. And of Jack there was no sign. He had been blown up.

Was that sirens he was hearing in the distance? He couldn't be sure; his ears were ringing, and he was feeling dizzy. He couldn't wait for help. He had to get out of here on his own. The people who had the guts to hide a bomb in Jack's stomach would probably come back to make sure there were no survivors.

So he gritted his teeth, and hanging on what was left of his strength and will, he began to climb up to the surface.

Funny thing, as he was struggling his way up, he just couldn't help thinking it had been a good idea to let Myfanwy fly out a bit earlier. Even, if she would probably be welcomed by bullets on her return.

But, right now, it was him running under heavy fire; some bastard was waiting for him. Not him personally, but any survivor. Luckily, he had spotted the little red mark of the laser sight. Shit. His hearing dulled by the blast he couldn't be sure how far away it was.

After having made sure that who ever they were had lost track of him, Ianto tried to contact Gwen. She was alive, that was great, but as him, she and Rhys were also on the run now.

He looked for a place to spend what was left of the night. Somewhere he could observe what was going on, without being caught. There was no way he was leaving Jack because whoever had put that bomb in Jack might have known about his little habit of not staying dead for too long.

He was starting to feel the physical and psychological effects of the attack. Adrenalin levels were dropping now; he was beginning to feel cold. Cold and hungry.

He fumbled in his pockets for chocolate. He'd been always keeping some with him since his first encounter with Myfanwy; just in case. He found it along with a handkerchief. A bright white linen handkerchief embroidered with Jack's monogram.

As he tried to clean the dirt from his face, the handkerchief held on to his features. It wasn't aggressive, in fact it was almost gentle. So, very carefully, he pulled it gently off, holding it by one corner. The cloth just wrapped itself softly around Ianto's wrist. Ianto took a good look at it. It was definitely a handkerchief. At least it looked like any other one, even within the fabric. Jack's coat. That thing was Jack's living coat.

He closed his eyes. Jack had told him how it worked, and right now it would have felt so good to just get wrapped up in that coat. Silly idea! That coat was a bit too much, and he needed to stay in the shadows. Harry Potter's invisibility cloak would have been great, except that he'd need to understand how it worked to make it happen.

He was getting colder. He should have put on an undershirt, but it was spring. Who would put on undershirt in spring, even in Cardiff? He was dreaming of a nice long sleeved T-shirt like his grand-dad used to wear.

He was freezing now, probably going into shock. And then, suddenly, the soft piece of cloth was swirling under his cuff, wrapping up his arm and then across his chest until it reached the other wrist. It had turned itself in a perfect long sleeves-shirt.

It was cool and warm and it smelled of Jack. It was perfect.

Jack woke up in concrete rubble and dust; bruised and stunned. They'd blown him up. They'd chain him and let him writh in pain as his skin grew back. Then they'd drowned him in concrete, and now what…? What the hell had he done to deserve so much hatred?

Then he spotted the car coming toward him. He was relieved to recognise his little team. Ianto was alive, and Gwen. And Rhys. Great! However, he was completely naked, still chained and a bit dusty.

Once in the car, as Ianto freed him from the chains, he crawled into his lover for comfort. Looking for body heat, he slid a hand under his lover's shirt.

"It looks like you make yourself a new friend." he told the young man.

"Don't know what you're talking about, sir" Ianto answered with is not so innocent smile.

They were exhausted and they managed to find an abandoned farm to spend the night in. Gwen and Rhys chose to sleep in the car while Jack and Ianto took the barn. It wasn't ideal, but at least it would be more intimate.

Jack was feeling completely disorientated. People he used to work for, people he was supposed to work with now, wanted to get rid of him and of what was left of his team at any cost. That was what Gwen had found out. But Jack couldn't process the information; what Gwen had told him was just spinning round in his head. It was not making sense. Why?

So, Ianto took charge. He did what he could to build a bed with gathered straw. Jack, still shocked, was just standing, staring. So Ianto began to undress. First, he took off his tie. that he had stubbornly kept wearing throughout. His jacket, the waistcoat, and his shirt were folded and placed on a broken chair. Then he took his T-shirt off, marveling that the thing had turned into a t-shirt with the heat of the day.

Ianto handed it to Jack, who considered it for a second or two, before throwing it onto Ianto's improvised bed. As it landed it turned into a nice, large welcoming duvet.

It was making a comfortable nest. You couldn't really call that a bed, but it was fine, they were together. Jack pulled Ianto towards him, still looking for comfort. And as for Ianto, he needed to make sure Jack was really there, alive in his arms. Knowing that Jack was immortal did not prevent Ianto fearing for him. He knew there were worst things than death.

They needed to feel, to kiss, to love; making sure that everything was right. Jack liked the way his very quiet Ianto could get passionate and possessive.

Then Ianto wrapped himself around Jack and looking right in his eyes he asked; "Feeling better?" "

"Yes" Of course Jack was feeling better, he always felt better in Ianto's arms. The living duvet wrapped itself around the two of them for the rest of the night.

The next day they made an old Torchwood warehouse their own. Ianto left the others dealing with the stuff they had gathered in with Gwen's very unorthodox ways. That had been fun, though. But now, he was going to do some shopping with one of the credit cards they had borrowed. They needed all the basic stuff… like toilet paper, fresh clothes for everyone, and soap!

He found everything he wanted for Gwen and Rhys in a department store. He found a nice suit for himself in a small shop. For Jack he went to an army supplier where he bought trousers, a shirt blue of course, boots and suspenders. Jack was certainly the only man looking sexy in braces.

He had asked for a coat hanger.

On his way back to the Hub 2, he stopped in a quiet place. First, to ensure he hadn't been followed, but also because he had something left to do.

When he had made sure there were no suspicious eyes were watching, he opened the passenger seat door, and hung the coat hanger on it. He took out the handkerchief he had tucked into his pocket, and he arranged on the hanger.

"Now, you know what we're expecting from you, right?" he said to the strange piece of fabric.

He closed his eyes and focused his mind on Jack's great coat; their first meeting in the park with the weevil. Pictured himself after Abadon looking for Jack in that coat. He loved that coat. He loved Jack in that coat. When he opened his eyes, the coat was back.

"You're just amazing!" he told the thing.

Then he drove to the warehouse to give the coat back to his owner.

Jack loved his coat and he was glad they'd manage to save it. It had always been a good coat; keeping him from the weather's sting.

But now, he was so cold and nothing was going to make it better. Ianto was dead.

He had died in his arms. And since then he was always cold, even though, the coat tried hard to keep him warm. But Jack would keep wearing it wrapping himself in the coat Ianto used to love so much.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Left Behind  
**Character**: Captain Jack  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** introspection

**Summary**: Jack's train of thought after the Doctor had left him in the Game Station

**Spoilers:** Of course! Even in the summary.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters still belong to RTD & the BBC as far as I know.  
**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

They had gone, leaving him behind.

He had seen the Tardis vanishing out in the vortex right before his very eyes, and Jack still couldn't bring his mind to acknowledge it.

He was on his own, alone in the huge game station orbiting around Earth; Earth now surely destroyed by Daleks.

He was standing alone among dust and corpses. He was the last living human and as far as he knew he was probably, the last living being in this star base and even in the solar system.

He was centuries from home, in time as much as speed.

Abandoned in the middle of nowhere surrounded by the corpses of those he had led into the fight. What did he have done to earn that?

Not one single moment he had thought about stepping back, even though he knew perfectly well it was a lost battle against an invincible enemy.

Like any good soldier he was prepared to give his life to gain his side some precious minutes, and had lead his team in the front line.

Not that he would take it back. No, not a minute, not even a second of these last six months.

He was sitting down where the Tardis had been standing not so long ago. The large control room around him was still beeping like nothing had happened.

In fact, thinking about it, what had happened?

He had fallen, fallen under Dalek fire. So, was he dead? Of course, he was. Or the Doctor wouldn't have left him behind, right? He was just some stupid ghost weeping over his lost life.

So how could he taste the salt of his tears? Why was his throat hurting this badly as he was fighting against sobs? Could ghosts cry?

Alone in his misery he let go; crying out in despair until he was torn of any more tears. It wasn't as though anyone could hear him, or would care.

He stayed sitting there without eating or drinking, waiting for Death to come and take him.

He waited for Death. He waited. But even Death didn't want him.

So he fought back the pain; got up onto his feet and did what the Doctor would be willing him to. Like the good soldier he was, he took care of the corpses of those who had died by his side. Then he took care of the others, those who didn't want to face reality. He incinerated them all.

Then he took care of himself, having a shower, looking for food. He was not going to die starving. He could spend the rest of his life here without starving.

But he was not going to stay there. No way. He still had his vortex manipulator. Though, just his luck it was broken. But here he was in a station far ahead of his own time. He should be able to find the component he needed to repair it. Even if he had to dismantle the station into pieces. Even if he'd spent the rest of his life doing it.

Anyway, it's not as if he has anything else to do, right?

He was going to repair his manipulator. Then he would go back to twenty-first century, Cardiff. Wait for the Doctor. And everything would be alright.

End.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Give Me A break.  
**Fandom:** Right, this is Doctor Who, but, as all my Doctor Who's fics are mostly focused on Jack, I will post them here.  
**Characters:** Jack, Rose, the Doctor (Nine of course) and the Tardis (which is a sentient being, if you hadn't guessed)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Just fluff – Doctor's Point of view.

**Summary:** When Jack and Rose get along and try to drive the Doctor out of his behaviour line.

**Spoilers:** Not that I can think of.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters still belong to RTD & the BBC as far as I know.  
**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

The Tardis' bathroom was not exactly meant for hygienic purposes. It was more of a place to relax. In fact all the bedrooms had the necessary commodities, so the Tardis' bathroom was more like a Spa.

That's how the Doctor liked it; a place to relax, to slow down; for _him_. But for his two impetuous passengers it was more a place of pleasure and fornication. Of course it wasn't always easy to conciliate.

When it had just been Rose it wasn't too hard. Though the young lady wasn't exactly shy and could make herself a bit pushy, the Doctor was still able to cope. But since Jack had joined them and commandeered his ship, it was getting more frustrating. The Doctor was even beginning to catch himself reacting like the basic apes these humans were ascended from and getting all territorial. Whether it was over Jack's control over the TARDIS or Rose he hadn't yet decided.

All this meant that while relaxing breaks were more and more needed, they were now more and more difficult to manage.

Resisting Rose was a hard work in it self; the girl had tried every thing to seduce him and she was making him light-headed.

Jack was −you must recall− chaos storm; a calamity waiting to happen. Not only was he not lacking in charm – far from it, very far from it – but he was much more explicit in his approach and he could sometimes lack subtlety. Jack was playful with an easy nature and was very tricky to put off.

And as if that wasn't enough; Jack had a very bad influence on Rose. Really, really bad.

For example, before Jack, Rose would never have had the incongruous idea of joining him in the big bathtub. But now she was shamelessly striping down teasingly in front of him, claiming some aches from their last escapade on Gamma Seven to get in the large tub and sit in front of him.

Okay. Rose he could handle. She would simper while playing with the water, but usually the worst she would come to would be a wandering soft foot rubbing against his inner thigh or a hand gently stroking his ankle. He had a very sensitive ankle but he also possessed a strong grip on his carnal response. Let's just say that Rose had no clue of the torture she was putting him through.

Jack being Jack was more of a challenge.

Jack would arrive shamelessly naked, proudly preceded by his virility, wearing it like a banner.

"Oh, here you are!" he'd say, pretending to be surprised. "And both of you!"

"May I?" he'd ask.

And as usual he didn't wait for an answer before getting in and settling by Rose's side. That way the Doctor was sandwiched between these two skilled, teasing demons. Of course the Doctor could have declared forfeit and left, running out with his tail between his legs.

Except Rose wasn't the only one the devilish Captain had a bad influence on. Some stupid pride meant the Doctor needed to take on almost any challenge Jack put him through, especially in front of Rose.

The Doctor couldn't understand why Rose was so fond of the annoying Captain, other than the fact he was always ready for sex, had a devastating smile, and also had a naked foot currently playing with his balls. Hang on. How did it get there?

"Jack… I think you've misplaced something…"

"Oh sorry Doc."

Of course as the mischievous Captain withdrew his foot he took the opportunity to stroke the Doctor's shaft.

"Oups!" the naughty guy said with a chirpy grin.

Jack's virtuosity in the Intrusion Art had Rose giggling with enthusiasm – don't ever try to understand women, especially human ones – relaxation was no longer to be expected here. Do you really think even a Time Lord could relax caught between Etna and Vesuvius?

The Doctor wasn't a saint with a martyr vocation. After all, there was no shame about refusing a fight when you knew the opposition not only outnumbered you, but was also ready to break all the rules of war.

"I think I'm going to finish that book in my shower," he said, and he left the room for a quieter place.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Love At First Flight  
**Character**: Ianto Jones, Myfanwy  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** fluff

**Summary**: Ianto is a fifteen-years-old kid having issues about staying around other people. When it get unbearable he hides in a abandoned warehouse. One day he finds an amazing intruder.

**Spoilers:** Not really. Could have been a prologue for my _Jack and Ianto Private Archives_.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters still belong to RTD & the BBC as far as I know.  
**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

Toc, toc, toc , toc, toc , toc, toc …

Ianto was sitting on the bare floor of the abandoned warehouse, arms around his knees, face down, lying on them. He was, however, grasping a big strong stick in his right hand. There was no way anyone would come to disturb him here in his shelter.

Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…

Since his earliest childhood, Ianto had always hidden in dark places. People don't look in dark places for a young kid and he needed to be alone from time to time. People couldn't understand they were hurting him just by being around.

Toc, toc, toc , toc, toc , toc, toc …

Ianto was an empath and people's emotions were getting at him, hurting him. Especially when they were erratic or violent like his father. Not that he was a bad man, just too unstable for his empathic son.

Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…

When he was four he used to like hiding in his wardrobe. Social services and child protection gave his father a hard time about that. When the wardrobe had begun too get to small for him, Ianto moved to the attic.

Toc, toc, toc , toc, toc , toc, toc …

He found this warehouse some time ago as he wanted to hide from other teens. It was discarded; no one ever came here. It was said to be haunted or some other stupid nonsense. Ianto liked it there, it had become his place.

Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…

Something had trespassed. Something alive, but not a rat or any mammal. Ianto would have felt it. And he was feeling nothing. Probably an insect or an escaped pet lizard then.

Toc, toc, toc , toc, toc , toc, toc …

Ianto crouched silently listening for the annoying noise. His stick secured in his hand he stood up and began to walk cautiously towards some scattered boxes abandoned on the south side of the building. The noise was coming from there.

Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch…

This place was his and Ianto was ready to fight to keep it that way. He was not going to let any intruder disturb his shelter. He got around the boxes to find more boxes and barrell.

Toc, toc, toc , toc, toc , toc, toc …

A wooden box was moving on its own, trying to find its way between two barrell. What was trapped underneath had to be big. The box was too heavy for any local insect or reptile. It could have been some iguana, but it was surely not a thing from the sewers. They were far bigger and stronger.

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

Whatever the trapped thing was, it had finally sensed Ianto's presence. Ianto waited a while. Nothing happened. Cautiously he lifted the box with the stick's help, freeing an astonishing vindicatory creature. Half lizard, half bird it was no bigger than a very aggressive poodle.

And it was attacking Ianto's boots.

Ianto shoved it away. The thing fell on its back, its wide wings more incapacitating than useful. Infuriated, it was screaming and trying hard to got back on its feet while pecking Ianto's stick. In his head Ianto was running the animalistic encyclopedia and he couldn't find anything matching that. At least among contemporary ones; that thing looked like a pteranodon.

Ianto helped the aggressive intruder up with his stick. He was thanked by a new beak attack.

The thing was incredibly hostile, probably scared, but Ianto could feel nothing. It was funny. Ianto played with it for some time. Not hurting it, just annoying it with his stick, until the beast began to get tired or realised the fight was pointless.

"How long have you been here?" Ianto said.

It was getting late. Ianto was beginning to feel hungry. He looked for the chocolate bars in his pocket and unwrapped one.

"D'you wants some?" he asked.

There was a shriek. Ianto broke a small piece off his chocolate and throw it to the mini pteranodon. The small beast began to play with it as if it was trying to identify it. It finally took the piece with the tip of its beak, tilted its head back to let the chocolate slide alongside it, and swallowed it down.

"Good, isn't it?"

The chocolate must have been good because Ianto's incredibly aggressive guest came to harass him violently for more.

"Hey, that no way to thank someone!" Ianto protested, but he gave up his whole snack piece after piece.

Before leaving Ianto hid his new friend under her box, promising he would come back with fish or whatever food he could think of.

Day after day, Ianto came back to feed Myfanwy, teaching her tricks. She was the only one he could really bear to be around. She became the confidant of his forced loneliness.

Ianto came to visit her until one day he left for London, but Myfanwy was already a big girl then and could fish on her own. She missed the chocolate though, and of course the company.

She knew Ianto would eventually come back.

And one day he came back with a playful friend and some chocolate.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: A Threatening Hostage

Author: Takisys

Characters: Owen Harper, Ianto Jones, and Jack Harkness.

Rating: PG

Challenge: 157 Heat

Note: That's my first English drabble.

"You locked the doors?"

"Yeap!"

"Okay, let see what happen, if I seal them"

"Why would you do that?"

"Who's the man in the back seat?"

"That's Jack."

"Yeap!"

"I don't get the point."

"Let me explain; we are trapped in a sealed car with a man spreading pheromones like a mating bug."

Owen sent Ianto a dark look.

"Now how long do you think you can resist jumping on him?"

"You're bluffing, Ianto."

Ianto gave Owen a smart grin and a glance toward Jack.

Jack had decided not to interfere in this argument.

"Okay, you win, I give up."


	10. Chapter 10

Title: An Overwhelming Lover  
Author: Takisys

Characters: Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness.

Rating: PG

Challenge: 157 - Heat

**Note**: Written for **tw100**

**Beta:** Jooles34

….

Ianto was damp with sweat. He couldn't move as if he was pinned to the mattress, his body weighing tons. He didn't even have the strength to remove the suffocating duvet from him. He ached like hell. He had to have caught a very bad flu.

Hang on.

It was summer time and the last thing he could remember, was having amazing hot sex with Jack in his bunker.

"Hey!" Ianto grunted.

"Hum…" Jack grunted back.

"Once again you fell asleep on top of me."

"What's the problem with that?"

"Just, that I'm almost stewed."

"Good, I'm starving."

"Great!"


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Profligacy  
Author: Takisys

Characters: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones & Owen Harper,

Rating: PG-13

Challenge: # 158 – Fancy Words – _Profligacy – inchoate- redoubtable_

_**Profligacy:**_ Shameless and immoral behaviour (Wiktionary dixit)

**Note**: Written for **tw100**

….

Ianto had tried to stand firm, opposing some resistance but the opponent was far too redoubtable. "Not appropriate place or time." "Work to do." Ianto mumbled.

Jack tongue was everywhere. And so were his hands. It was a lose battle. Buttons gave in, zip slid open. Jack was on his knees. How could Ianto keep any coherent thought when Jack engulfed him like this?

"Wow! Harkness." "Working place. Work to do." Owen split mostly inchoate, as he stepped in the archives.

"Where's the retcon, by the way? I do really need to forget what I've just walked into." he added.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Intergalactic Turkish Bath  
**Fandom:** Right, this is Doctor Who, but, as all my Doctor Who's fics are mostly focused on Jack, I will post them here.  
**Characters:** Jack, Rose, the Doctor (Nine of course)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Just fluff – Still Doctor's point of view.

**Summary:** Jack, Rose and the Doctor meet my lovely Water Flowers.

**Spoilers:** Not that I can think of.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters still belong to RTD & the BBC as far as I know.  
**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

Jack had had to tell Rose about Sisko 4 and its _Kadac˝t'am_. That guy really was a walking chaos storm; a calamity waiting to happen. Believe me.

"Doctor, please?" Rose insisted.

"No way!"

"Just because you don't want us to see you naked." She pouted tantalizingly, and then she turned to Jack "You said it's mixed, right?"

"Do you realise that's merely a bordello he want to take us to?" the Doctor pointed out "and I've never had any problem with nudity."

"Oh Doc, it's just a kind of intergalactic Turkish bath with numerous pools filed with all sorts of amazing liquids and giant bubbles," Jack explained, his eyes impishly daring the Doctor.

In the end the Doctor had to agreed the _Kadac˝t'am_ was worthy a detour. The place was huge, with lots of rooms providing many pleasurable kinds of baths for all the different species coming to the space station.

Basically, the _Kadac˝t'am _was meant to be a sensual fun place for everyone, but it was also a nice hunting ground place for sexual predators; some were even more dangerous than Jack.

With Jack being around, the Doctor would have to be careful if he didn't want their trip about discovering the wonders of universe becoming a Sex, Drug, and Rock & Roll tour.

Jack being the Sex factor.

As for the Rock & Roll, though, that was his part.

Jack was some sort of sex trap, and not just because of his pheromones. You should have seen the way he would say "Nice to meet you, Miss." with a devastating smile, and mischievous eyes full of indecent promises.

How, can someone put so much innuendo in a so usual small sentence?

And that was just to get their towels.

But if there was something you couldn't tar Jack with, it would be prejudice. The huge Artrub attending security was granted exactly the same smile, without the _Miss _andprobably a bit less subtlety.

Of course Jack had told Rose about the _T'am_ and its _Palem._ The milky-like liquid was soft, releasing an intoxicating fragrance and enormous iridescent bubbles dancing gently on the surface of the _Palem_ before ascending slowly toward the ceiling. It was kind of magical.

The Doctor headed to the _Ka't"am_ and its refreshing and effervescent _Velain._

"I found it kind of stimulating," the Doctor had said.

"I intend to have a go at the _T'am._ There are always a lot of players around there, because of the bubbles," Jack tried. He looked toward Rose for support with an innocent grin.

"Just what I would expect from you," the Doctor commented. If the Doctor had no problem with nudity, to Jack wandering naked around strangers of all species was just natural.

Amused, Rose followed the two of them, not wasting anything her eyes could catch.

"Water Flowers have a taste for it, did you know?" the Doctor added, mischievously.

"Water Flowers?" Jack asked bemused.

"Water Flowers?" Rose repeated at a complete loss.

"Yep. Water Flowers, and it's just the season." the Doctor said, and without anymore explanation he got in the thick greenish liquid.

"The Doctor tumbling with_Fengeldubbitomîode'n _? I don't want to miss that." As he spoke Jack followed the Doctor into the pool, beckoning Rose to come along.

"What?" Rose asked. She was beginning to wonder why some species had such incredible names, and how Jack and the Doctor seemed to manage to remember them so easily.

"_Fengeldubbitomîode'n. _A sort of giant sea-anemone-like life-form. They are nontoxic and very caressing. So very caressing." Jack explained with a sparkle in the eyes.

Like all the pools of the _Kadac˝t'am_ it was not very deep. The _Velain_ despite being thick was translucent, and it was a tonic, slightly tickling. The pool was, for the most part, full of magnificent pastel-coloured humanoid life-forms. They were graceful and charming. They immediately surrounded the newcomers to welcome them.

The three of them were gently invited in some kind of aquatic ballet. It was nice and sweet, but Rose had no clue why Jack and the Doctor had called them Water Flowers. Then they began to change, they were morphing. The pool was now like a big aquarium and the _Fengeldubbitomîode'n_ were indeed very caressing. Their tentacles were like thousands of gentle fingers running over human skin, massaging, tickling. It was unbelievable.

The Doctor looked like he enjoyed the company too.

As for Jack he was completely overwhelmed by Water Flowers like they wanted to devour him. He was sometimes disappearing under the water for several minutes.

"They like pheromones." the Doctor said.

"They are going to drown him!"

"Jack? No way. We wouldn't be that lucky. He's a second generation human; he can breathe under water," the Doctor sighed.

"I'm afraid we're not going to be rid of him, that easily." He continued the banter a wide smile reaching his both ears. "We're stuck with him till the end of time."


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: **Naked Hide and Seek

**Characters:** Jack, Nine and Rose.

**Rating:** PG

**Challenge:** # 135 – Shameless.

**Spoilers**: For the BBC book _Only Human_ by Gareth Roberts  
**Note: **Written forDW100

(_I was wondering if the Torchwood Team ever got to watch this on the news_)

...

"We need a decoy." the Doctor said.

"I can do that." Jack answered with a wide grin.

Sometimes later on, the Doctor and Rose were dragging a stunned Neanderthal man out of the hospital and into the Tardis despite the Forces protecting the surrounding area.

Everyone's attention was focused on the man running naked playing hide and seek with the police.

"You know what, Doctor?" Rose said "I think I'm beginning to get use to that."

"Humans are animals of habits." the Doctor said "I'm not sure, I will ever accustom myself with him wandering naked around my ship, though."

...

**Title: **The Hell with Pacifists

**Characters:** Jack, Nine and Rose.

**Rating:** PG

**Challenge:** # 114 – Pacifist  
**Note : **Written for DW100

...

Once again, they were running for theirs lives. Of course, Jack was enjoying the thrill. He could very well follow the Time Lord until the End of Times, if the man kept him running by his side.

Currently to do so they both needed to stay alive. Jack fumbled in his pocket and found the expected banana. He peeled it and thrown it to their hunters.

"The hell with pacifists!" he shouted, without looking back.

They finally made it to the Tardis.

"Look at that, Jack." Rose said.

The two very hungry things chasing them were fighting over the banana.

...

**Title: **What are you up to? (What Jack would do to get the Doctor's interest?)

**Characters:** Jack, Nine and Rose.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Challenge:** # 104 – Flirting with disaster.  
**Note : **Written for DW100

...;

Jack was towering on killer-heels. His incredibly long legs fitted in silk. He was wearing a black dress indecently too short.

"What the hell are you doing up there Captain?" The Doctor asked.

"Looking for books."

"Okay. That would explain what you're doing on that stepladder, but the outfit?"

"Rose idea. Halloween she said, I'm looking for more data."

"From where I'm standing, Captain you're looking for being ravished."

Jack grinned.

"Works for me, Doc. You should have told me you had a kink for men in skirt."

"Get down, right now!"

"Aye aye, sir."

"Before you break your neck."


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: **Don't Lie To Me.

**Characters:** Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones

**Rating:** PG

**Challenge:** # 159 – Reverse fandom: Lost, Episode title: _The Lie_ or _The Whole True_.  
**Note : Written for ** **tw100**

...

"Did you?" Ianto manage to utter.

"Died over and over? No." Jack answered a bit too quickly.

Ianto showed him a concerned look.

"I did died twice or so and then it stopped." Jack added "I'm fine Ianto."

"You don't look fine."

"You can tell!"

"Jack I'm not the one who get buried for centuries. I'm not looking for comfort lies. I want to know what I'm going to deal with."

"It did stop, believe me."

"How bad was it?"

"I can't honestly tell, but it wasn't worst than the Year-That-Never-Was. I could do with a bit of hugging, though."

...

**Title: **Jack's technique

**Characters:** Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones

**Rating:** PG

**Challenge:** # 159 – Reverse fandom: Lost, Episode title: The Beginning of the End.  
**Note : Written for ** **tw100**

...

He had always been good at flirting his way out of problem, at least most of the time.

Problem with that technique; it was either perfect or disastrous.

Today was meant to be volcano day.

"Please." he tried with a mischievous pout.

"No ways Jack. Perhaps, next time you'll think it twice before taking me out on hunting in the sewers.

Tonight, I'm going home and I'll take my shower alone."

"You'll have no one to rub your back."

_*Sigh*_

"I'll take care of everything beginning with you."

*_Dark frown_*

"Not only the washing, but the dinner."

"And sex?"

"Eventually..."

...

Title: In No Particular Order

Author: Takisys

Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness and Toshiko Sato

Rating: PG

Challenge: # 159 – Reverse fandom: Lost, Episode title: Past, Present and Futur.

**Note**: Written for **tw100**

…..

"What is it?" Gwen asked.

"I'm trying to figure Jack's time-line out," Ianto explained.

"It looks a bit complicated."

"Yeap, you can say that."

"Where's the beginning?"

"Over there."

"In the future?"

"Yeap."

"So we are here, right?"

"Yeap!"

"Complicated."

"What's complicated?" Jack asked, as he and Tosh joined in.

"Your time-line schema."

"Ho!" Jack said. He contemplated Ianto's diagrams for a while, then he added "and that's just a sum up. I'm not sure I'd be able to give you the full version, thought."

"Even so, would it be wise?" Tosh asked.

"Probably not." Jack replied "work to do."


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:** Coming Back Home

**Prompt:** Coming home from long trip  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Fifty-first century; the man who used to call himself Jack Harkness comes back to his mum, and he is very nervous about it.

**Word count:** 505 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

He walked down the street and around the corner, and then he stopped. He was home. It felt strange. Why was he surprised? This was never really home. It should have been, but to him it never was. Not really. They had moved here with his mother and her new companion after their home world had been thorn apart. He always missed Boeshane. He used to hate this place.

He had waited until _time _took him back here. He had waited until it caught up with his own time line. For him it was centuries ago, for them it would be just twenty years. The Time Agency had closed down soon after he'd left; nobody was looking for him anymore. It was safe to come back. Not that _safe _was anything he cared about for himself, but for his family.

He looked just the age he should have. That should save him from telling them about the immortal part. In fact, if he could walk in, hug them and just sit down with them with out even speaking it would be just fine. In your dreams, old fool. Your mum is just like any mum. She'll ask where you have been, what took you so long, what you have done. She might even ask if you are fine.

*sigh*

He would give anything to skip that part. He wasn't a kid anymore. In fact he had been a father, a grand-father, a great-grand-father and even a mother and... and so on. Yes, he knew more than anyone what it felt like to lose a child or to have a kid coming back after so long without any news. Been there, done that. His heart was numb by the numerous times he had been wounded that way.

So today he was going to be a good kid. He would answer the questions. He'd try not to lie too much if he could manage to. But he couldn't tell the true either; it would be devastating for his mum to know. Of course, she would be able to tell. Mums always know when one of her kids is hiding his pain, right? As a mum himself he hoped so. As a kid he was hoping not, though.

Funny.

He was there. Standing across the street looking at the closed door with a knot in his throat and a lingering hole in his stomach. He was nervous.

He had travelled through time and space for centuries. He had fought the worst threats of the world. Led men into apocalyptic battles. Loved some extraordinary creatures. Lost numerous loved ones. Seen the End of Times, and also the beginning by the way. And even gave birth.

And here he was, nervous about knocking at that door. Not even knowing if there was someone in. Even wishing there wasn't so he could walk away. No, you're kidding yourself, that would be a very bad excuse, and you know it. Stop being a coward and go on with it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:** Looking at the Stars

**Prompt:** Looking at the Stars  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Jack and Ianto looking at the sky and chatting about stars.

**Word count:** 548 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

They were comfortably settled on the roof top, cuddling under the protective duvet wrapped around them. It was a wonderful cloudless summer night.

"What do you see while looking at the stars?" Ianto asked.

"What do _you_ see?" Jack asked back.

Ianto raised an eyebrow, and threw a questioning glance at Jack.

"What I see today? Or what I used to see before you or Torchwood?"

"You got exactly my point, Mister Jones." Jack answered with a mischievous grin.

"Before, and probably like most kids born after the Star Trek generation, I used to see the stars as the future of human kind. They looked inviting, calling for us to visit. So many wonderful people and civilisations were just waiting for us to discover them..." Ianto said, his mind lingering on his lost innocence.

Jack's amused eyes were studying him tenderly.

"Then I got into Torchwood. After two or three incidents, the stars were already less attractive. After the Christmas Star, they even became menacing. After Canary Wharf, I was really sure they were not the future of mankind, unless it was the end of it." Ianto couldn't suppress the chill running along his spine.

"Do you still feel that way?"

"You mean after having seen our planet stolen away across space like it was... a car? Or a mere bicycle?" Ianto shot back.

"You know what I mean." Jack said, looking at him as if he, Ianto, was some amazing man.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know anymore." Ianto sighed. "That's why I was asking you."

"Why me?" Jack said like a teacher pointing at the link to follow to a gifted student.

"You've come from the future, from across the stars; you've seen them. I mean like I will never see them, whatever happens."

"Would you like to have a closer look?"

"Perhaps. Looking at you, knowing you, it makes me wonder again." Ianto said cuddling thoroughly into Jack's embrace. "So what do _you_ see?" he asked.

"When I was a kid, we use to enjoy sitting on the beach at night. We would pick out a star and my father would call it by name and then tell us about it."

"I guess not all the stars you could see were inhabited though?" Ianto asked. "And please skip the part about stars being suns. They can't all have a populated planets orbiting around them."

"No of course. At least not as a proper population, but it was the fact for our home world too, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Any planet, any satellite that could be exploited, was indeed exploited. My home world was a very small colony. You could compare it to Guernsey unless it would be settled in the Caribbean archipelago lost in the middle of oceans."

"Are you saying there only was one island occupied on your planet?"

"At least only one with a proper city. There were some hydroponic farms scattered around too."

"Whoa! I'd always pictured you as coming from a huge futuristic city, like in the Fifth Element."

"Oh that would be Tal'maran. The planet is a whole city in itself." Jack said laughing.

"Don't you miss it?" Ianto asked. "Travelling among stars?"

"Nope. I rather being watching them from here with you by my side."


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:** There is definitively no place like home.

**Prompt:** Making love

**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary: **Who would have guessed it would be such hard work to drag Jack Harkness in ones bed?

**Word count:** 525 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

The first time, it was on Jack's desk. Not very romantic would you say? It wasn't supposed to be about romance, or at least not about this one. It was his first day, or more precisely the first late evening. The rest of the team had left the Hub. It was just the two of them left. The new employee and the boss.

Don't make assumption; it wasn't a boss taking advantage.

Ianto was the one who made the first move. Just the first one. Jack was an amazing partner and Ianto had only to follow the pace. He had thought it would be a change; a new experience. It could be interesting and that sort of thing.

It had been unexpectedly good. Good and fun.

Since that first day and, with the exception of two brief interruptions – the first after Jack had found out what Ianto was hiding in the basement, the second when Jack ran away after his Doctor – they had had sex on all surfaces in and out of the Hub, appropriate or not.

They considered the archives were their personal mating place, but they had tried the autopsy bay once or twice until Owen found out and threatened them with putting the footage he had confiscated on the internet. Not that it was much of a threat to Jack, but Ianto convinced him to try some new territory.

The SUV was one of their favourites too. That car should have turned red from what had been going on its back seats and even sometime on the front ones. They even did it once or twice on the bonnet.

They had tried almost every public elevator in the city. It was fun and not really risky as Jack could overrun them with his manipulator. The only consequence was a strange case of lift outage plague. Until Tosh worked out that wherever elevators were breaking down, Jack and Ianto were always nearby.

They used to like the welcoming hothouse full of aroma and funny leaves to play with. It was always warm and moist, just as a hothouse should or a human. Of course what was bound to happen happened; Gwen showed up and caught them in the act. At least she didn't try any menace of any kind. But it was Sunday and it was Jack's place after all. She was the one intruding.

None-the-less the hothouse seemed less attractive, after that.

Eventually, Ianto managed to convince Jack to try a new and completely exotic place, at least to Jack. A bed. Ianto's bed to be precise. Jack's one couldn't really be defined as a bed and definitively not used as such. They had tried. Just once, though. Ianto had been the one threatening Jack on that one.

"It's wide, cosy and firm. Dressed with the finest linen, and there is even a shower nearby." Ianto had teased him.

"Are you sure you really want my messy-me in your shinny little place, Ianto Jones?" Jack had said.

"I do." Ianto answered.

The next day Jack was moving in.

Jack did like the bed. Of course they tried the kitchen table, the shower and even two of the doors, but in the end the Captain had to admit that a bed was an amazingly cosy place to make love.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title:** Wedding Fairy & Captain Flash Bastard

**Prompt:** Posing as Couple.  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper-William/Rhys William.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Ianto's train of thought during Gwen's wedding party.

**Word count:** 601 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

Ianto didn't give it a second thought; he crossed the distance between them and stepped in. Not that he was jealous. He wasn't before Jack; it would have been ridiculous to turn jealous now. Even more so knowing perfectly well Jack was more about flirting and showing off than anything else.

But this was different. It was Gwen's wedding. Enough damage had been done and he was already working on retconning all the party. Of course, he could have retconned Rhys too and stolen him his wedding. But no. No way. He was not going let this happen.

The intimacy between the two dancers had dragged the eyes of some of the guests and to Ianto's concern Rhys' annoyed ones. It was justified; the young bride and his boyfriend were making quite a display. It was getting dangerously hot between them.

His intrusion got the couple back down to earth. The landing was a bit awkward. Jack looked somewhat uncomfortable; not much like him, would you say? That because you don't know Jack as Ianto does. As for Gwen, it took her a second to realise Ianto was not interested in dancing with her. She even looked surprised when he went on asking Jack. Why would she?

All the team knew about them. At work Ianto and Jack were doing their best to keep it discrete; at least Ianto did. But that was only out of co-worker policy, nothing else. Here they were not working anymore. Sort of. It was a wedding and they were celebrating.

He was dancing with Jack in front of the whole party. Of course most of them were not going to be able to tell tomorrow morning. That's a shame he though nearly feeling sorry. If he wasn't the professional he was. A least they were both going to remember, and it was the most important in the end.

He was in fact very comfortable dancing with Jack here in front of these people. It was now completely natural to him, not even really caring about Rhys abashed glance. Poor Rhys, he would not have anticipated his rival dancing with a man, but the groom was more than likely relieved to see the petulant Captain in his arms. Probably hoping would disregard the way Jack and Gwen had looked at each other. Narrow minds. Jack would have said. Not that it was making any difference about the undecided attraction going between Jack and Gwen.

Ianto realised he could do it; posing as a couple in plain sights. But that wasn't really new. He and Jack were going out on dates as often as they could, and Jack was always obvious about their relationship. Ianto was okay with that, just afraid their date could end up in some homophobic row.

Jack didn't care. If Ianto didn't know better he would even say Jack wasn't noticing.

Ianto was too good at observing not to have noticed the little changes in behaviour among the people who knew about them. It wasn't always hostile, it was just the fact that it shouldn't be different at all. Even Gwen had changed the way she looked at them, or at least at him.

As for Jack, Gwen could be so fickle. One day he was a bastard of all bastards and the next he was a damned hero. Just like today, this morning he was a bastard, tonight he was the dashing hero. And if Ianto hadn't interrupted, Jack would have ended the night as the bastard of all bastards once again.

Ianto glanced at the happy couple dancing not that far from them. They were married. They were in love. They looked happy.

"Where are you?" Jack asked.

"I was thinking what a nice couple they make." Ianto replied.

Jack glanced at Gwen and Rhys.

"So do we. Don't you think so?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Title:** Chorus for a Sexy Old Lady

**Prompt:** Serenade.  
**Fandom/Characters**: Doctor Who: The Doctor (Ten), Jack, Rose and the Tardis.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** The Doctor and all his companions are taking Earth back home, but the Tardis had been badly wounded. She needs comfort and she finds it.

**Word count:** 698 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

The Tardis was humming quietly. It was a music the Doctor had got used to listening to. A soft hum of contentment. She was getting old and had been badly wounded, but she was content. Martha and Mickey were chatting in the library. Sarah Jane was giving Jacky the grand tour. Donna and his metacrisis counterpart were arguing on the deck. Rose and Jack were nowhere to be seen.

Those two were just impossible. But they were her favourites. Of all the companions he had brought on board they were her favourites.

The humming was getting stronger, turning into a sort of purr.

"Tell me. What is it with him? And don't say I'm jealous; I just want to understand why you're always purring like this when he's on board?" The Doctor spoke aloud attracting Jacky and Sarah Jane's attention.

"Problem Doctor?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Who are you talking too?" asked Jacky, looking around to see if anyone else was in the corridors.

The Doctor didn't bother to answer either of them.

"Do you happen to know where Rose could be?" he asked.

"That would be with the Captain." Jacky said. "Nice guy."

"Yes of course..."

"Down in the zero room." Sarah Jane added.

"In the zero room?"

"Yes, something about comforting her." Sarah Jane said. "The Tardis, she got hurt." she added when she realised the Doctor was completely at loss.

"Yes I know that. Of course I know." He said a bit puzzled. What the hell was the Captain doing in the zero room with Rose to comfort the Tardis? Or was this just a covert story for Jacky? "I better go and have a look." He said.

And he went down to find Rose comfortably tucked in Jack's coat on the sofa. She had provided them with a sofa. He couldn't see most of the Captain. Only his legs were visible. He was working deep inside a maintenance access. And he was singing. The Tardis hummed in response.

"What the hell are you doing Captain? I checked, everything is fine."

Startled by the Doctor, Jack banged his head.

"Oye. That hurts." he said, trying to get out of the trap with some dignity. "Hi Doc. Not so loud. Rose is sleeping."

"You were the one singing here, and you want me not to be quiet?" the Doctor pointed out.

"Singing is not noise. Of course it can be noisy, but that's not the purpose here."

"And what is the purpose?" the Doctor asked.

"She loves it when he sing for her, always has." Rose grunted. "I like it too. Not much my style, though. But I like the voice."

"You're kidding me?"

"No Doc. And she is not fine. Far from it. And you know it as much as I do. Repaired but not fine."

There was a lot of concern in the Captain's eyes. He loved the Tardis as much as the Doctor did and was probably the only one of his companions to understand her.

"So why here? And why under this deck?"

"I'm not sure, something about vibrato?" the Captain answered frowning.

"Vibrato or vibrations?"

"Hey Doc." Rose protested. Still on her sofa. Still trying to sleep."Won't you let him sing, and let me sleep?"

"I don't think it matters." the Captain said, his thoughts still focused on the Doc's question. "A lot of species don't actually hear sound as we do, they feel it."

"I don't think she has actual ears, does she?" Rose asked.

"Of course not." the Doctor answered. "Okay. Go on." he added, sitting on the floor beside the sofa.

The Tardis provided him with a cushion.

"Okay, but you'll have to sing with me."

"Why's that? Rose doesn't sing, she's sleeping."

"Still trying to anyway." she grunted.

"Rose is going home and so am I. You're home. She is your home and she needs you."

"You want me to sing for my ship?"

"Why not?"

"Okay, let's do this."

And they sang for the Tardis, the three of them. And she was content, feeling loved. And she would soon be fine.


	20. Chapter 20

**Title:** Team Cleaning

**Prompt:** Shower together  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Capt. Jack Harkness/ Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato and Owen Harper.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** The team return from a hunt covered with green stinky slim and Ianto deal with it.

**Word count:** 616 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

"We're dead. He's going to kill us. "Owen said.

"At least we tried." Gwen said.

"He is a perfectionist," Tosh said "I don't think that trying will be enough."

Jack remained silent. Yes they had tried; but the car was a mess. They were on their way back after a hunt. The target was a slime creature, and a stinky one. They had played hide and seek for hours. In the end they had managed to catch it, trapping it in a barrel. But they were disgustingly covered with green, stinky slime.

"You'll find plastic in the boot to protect the seats." Ianto had told him when he called to announce their return.

Have you ever tried to put protective plastic in a car when you're covered with greasy stinky dirt?

The car was a mess. They were a mess. And that stuff was beginning to burn. Yes. Because it had got through and under their clothes.

Ianto was waiting at the car park entrance. Shiny shoes and immaculate, perfectly cut suit.

"Halt! Where do you think you're going like that?" he said.

"Showers, upstairs." the girls replied in unison.

"There is a shower here. You don't need to wander around the hub like this."

"Like you say; _a_ shower. There are four of us, and it's cold." Owen barked.

"It's large and it's warm, I made sure of it." Ianto said, blocking the way and pointing towards the _guests'_ shower.

"This stuff is burning." Gwen complained.

"Yep. And it's not going to get better if you keep arguing. Shower is ready, as are your spare clothes. That way."

"Are you planning on getting the four of us in the same shower at the same time?" Jack asked amused by Ianto's solution.

The Captain had already abandoned his coat to Ianto's care.

"Clothes in the rubbish bin here. I'll see later if I can save them."

"Ianto, you're not serious?" the medic protested.

"I don't know about you, but I want that stuff off me." Tosh said, working on taking off what was left of her clothes. Like Gwen she had already removed her jacket, jumper and boots. Some of the slime had got into them.

"Come on Owen. Stop arguing." Jack said.

Of course the Captain was already naked and stepping into the large shower room.

"Don't be shy, Owen." Gwen added

"You've seen all of us naked, right? Our turn." Tosh went on.

"Wow. That's good." Jack said under the running water.

"Yep and there is enough hot water for all of you." Ianto said "But I may add that I'm controlling it, so if anyone is getting a bit too excited in there, it could turn cold." he added with a glance toward his lover.

Reluctantly Owen joined Jack and the girls in the shower. There was enough room for ten people in it. It wasn't meant for humans, but, as Ianto called them, their guests.

"How come there is hot water in here?" Owen asked as he stepped inside." I mean, last time I checked weevils like it cold."

Jack was concentrating on not getting too excited over the two young women giggling like school girls as they helped each other with the soap.

"Ianto would rather like it hot, I guess." Tosh said, still giggling.

"Oh yes, he does."

"Jack Harkness." Ianto's voice warned from outside.

"Don't you want to come and join us?"

"Sorry not tonight. I've got a coat to save and you've got a car to clean."

"Don't you think he is getting bossy?"

"Oh yes, he does."


	21. Chapter 21

**Title:** Kinks and Slime Monster

**Prompt:** Cuddling in a vehicle  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Capt. Jack Harkness/ Ianto Jones.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Following Team Cleaning – but can be read alone.

**Word count:** 616 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

"What are you still doing in that car? " Ianto asked.

The whole team had come back from a hunt covered with green stinky goo. After sending the rest of the said team home, Ianto had sent Jack to clean the SUV.

"I'll take care of that coat of yours, you get the car clean, and I will see if we've got enough time left to do anything else." he had told the Captain.

"We could do it the other way around?" Jack proposed.

"You want to take care of the coat instead of the car?" Ianto asked innocently.

"No. Even though, believe it or not; I used to take care of it long before you were born."

"That explains a lot. So?"

"I meant we could do the extra before and the cleaning later."

"Priorities, Jack."

That was two hours ago. Ianto had managed to save Jack's coat one more time and even had all the rest of the clothes cleaned and ready to return to their respective owners.

Jack was still tucked, head down, in the car. The view he was offering was nice though. That was why Ianto had waited for five minutes before letting the Captain know he was there watching.

"Nice view by the way."

"You like it?"

"You know I do." Ianto said. "Were you planning on waiting for me in that position all night?" he asked without of any doubt.

"I hoped it would help."

"Is it that bad?"

"You should come and have a look yourself." The Captain answered raising his head to look at Ianto, but without getting out of the car.

From Ianto's point of view it looked pretty much like a trap. He took off his jacket and his tie, neatly tucking the tie with his cufflinks into the jacket's pocket, and put the jacket on the bonnet, and then he rolled up his sleeves.

Jack had given him a look of approval before heading back into the car. Ianto intended to open the back door in order to have a better view of what was evidently giving the Captain so much trouble to.

"No. Not the back door."

"Why not?"

"Because you're no fun." Jack said getting out of the car.

"That would probably be because cars are not meant for that." Ianto reply "Jack, last time we did it in that car I ached for days."

Jack was looking at him with puppy eyes. Really how could puppy eyes look that sexy on a grown man? That was one of Jack's mysteries; that and his braces.

"That car is too small for the two of us." Ianto said."Or we are both too big to play in it." he corrected.

Ianto realised that Jack was not listening anymore, and then he saw what had attracted Jack's attention.

"Get in the car," Jack urged him.

"Jack." Ianto tried to protest, but Jack had him tucked in the back seat with the doors closed in a second.

"What the hell?"

"That could be the mother." Jack said. "Not really harmful, just disgustingly stinky." he added.

They were trapped in the car the slime monster covering the whole place.

"Do you happen to have your phone?" Jack asked."Mine is in my coat."

"And mine's outside in my jacket."

"Shit."

"Oh stop it Jack."

"What?"

"You wanted fun. What's more fun than having sex when _trapped_ in a car with a monster threatening to eat us alive?"

"Having sex with a kinky young man while waiting for the cavalry?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Title:** Words are not coming easily.

**Prompt:** Family celebration  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Fifty-first century; the man who used to call himself Jack Harkness comes back to his mum. Following Coming Back Home, not sure it is very schmoopy, though.

**Word count:** 529 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

He was back. Her son was back. After all these years. He was a kid when he'd run away. But it was a man who rang at her door; a middle aged man, his eyes looking even older than he was. And now he looked awkwardly big in her kitchen, not knowing what to do with himself.

So many questions were bumping in her head but she couldn't get one out. Where to begin? 'Why did you run away?' She knew the answer that one. It had been a long time before she'd got herself to admit it, but she knew. She had put his brother's loss on him and it was not fair. In the end she had lost both her children.

'Where have you been?' She wasn't sure if she wanted to know. In twenty years he could have done plenty of dreadful things. Why was she always thinking the worst of him? He wasn't a bad kid. A dreamer, a romantic, but not a bad kid.

He was looking around the room for what had changed or for lost memories. He hadn't lived here long. Never liked it here. Always missed Boeshane's ocean and his friends. She wondered if he'd ever tried to go back there? Look for the others; for his brother?

Damn. Here you are again, Lian; Gray is gone. Gray is forever lost. This one is here, he came back.

But what for? Why is he wandering in your house checking silently your stuff without saying a single world?

"Hey Lian, guess what?" Stefh said, entering the house. " Hi, do I know you?" he added spotting the tall stranger standing there.

"I should probably go." Her son said.

"No." she said "Don't."

"Who's that?" Stefh asked intrigued.

"Asham, my son. Don't you remember him?" she managed to reply, her tongue tripping on his name like it was difficult to pronounce.

"Oh."

"I'd better leave now."

"No, no way son." Stefh said firmly "Are you alright? Take a seat. Here, a drink? Didn't you offer him a drink, Lian?"

No she hadn't. She had bustling around her kitchen like a bee since he had been there without asking him anything, not even if he wanted a drink. Just babbling about silly things like the meal she was doing the kids who were on their way from school, the weather and other stuff that didn't really matter. She looked at him. Really looked into those sad, big, blue eyes. They were sad, looked old but there was no reproach to be seen.

"Where have you been? What took you so long, son?" Stefh asked, offering the seat and drink she hadn't.

Asham glanced towards her like he was silently calling for help.

"It's not important where he was or whatever's happened. Stefh" she cut in "What is; is him being here. That's all."

Tears were running down his cheeks now, but she could barely see them through her own. Why was this so hard? Her throat tightened painfully.

"Yeah, you're right." Stefh agreed with a grin "You'll stay with us, meet your brother and sisters and we'll decide how we can properly celebrate your return. What do you say son?"

"That would be great." he managed to say.


	23. Chapter 23

**Title:** Aftermath

**Prompt:** Sick in Bed  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Capt. Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper and Myfanwy.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** Myfanwy is sick. Ianto is broken and the team is still suffering from the aftermath of the cyberwoman incident.

**Word count:** 1 137 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo.

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

"I don't have time for this," Ianto said. "Don't have time to fight with a stupid dinosaur." he added angrily collecting his stuff. "And don't tell me you're not; I don't care."

With that, the young man left Myfanwy's nest, leaving her alone with the food she was refusing to eat. Ianto was angry. He was angry with himself, with the whole team, with Jack and of course with her. They had killed Lisa, his Lisa.

He was also angry because he couldn't stop himself from worrying for that stupid living fossil. '_She's only brooding because you're angry and she doesn't understand why_' he told himself.

A normal day at the Hub was always a busy day, at least for him. The rest of the team managed to have slow days, but they were always making sure things weren't slow for him. Funny thing, they were perfectly good at doing that while still ignoring him.

Ianto had however managed to go back and check on Myfanwy twice. She hadn't moved, hadn't eaten and was still brooding in the far corner of her nest.

It was late, and Jack had insisted on not allowing him in the Hub after working hours, so Ianto hurried up the stairs, taking some chocolate with him; at least she would eat chocolate.

This time Ianto found Myfanwy lying flat on her belly, her long neck and beak stretched out in front of her. Her wings were half spread by her sides. His stomach dropped to his shoes and he held his breath until he had checked hers. She was fine, or at least alive. He lowered himself to the ground by her side, gently taking her head to rest on his thighs.

"What's going on?" he said. "Don't do this, please, not now." he pleaded.

He suddenly felt so powerless, so useless and so lonely; what could he possibly do?

Owen was upset. He couldn't stop himself from keeping an eye on Ianto. He had never thought much of the teaboy and the recent events had done nothing to help him trust him. When he'd seen Ianto making for the stairs leading to the hatch for the fifth times today, he waited two minutes and followed.

"What the hell is going on, here?" he barked. Ianto was forcing something in the pteranodon's beak. "Get off her," he commanded.

Ianto obeyed and stepped aside, giving the medic as much room as he needed to check on Myfanwy.

"I was just trying to give her some water."

"Water?"

"She keeps on refusing her meals, and I don't think she's drinking much either."

"How long?"

"I'm not sure, two or three day..."

"And what were you waiting for?" Owen asked. "I don't think Jack's going to be very pleased with this." he grunted "Help me to take her down to the lab."

"What's going on? What are you still doing here, Ianto?" Jack asked, as they arrived in the main Hub. "Hey, what's wrong with her?" he added, taking Owen's place to help Ianto carrying the pteranodon.

"Looks like your precious pet had eaten something, she shouldn't have," the doctor replied leading the way to the autopsy bay.

Jack glanced at Ianto who looked miserable, "What happened?" he asked. The young man just sighed out his frustration. Jack nodded back and told him to leave it and to go home.

It didn't take long for Owen to find the problem, taking it out was a little more difficult.

"So?" Jack asked, as the medic was studying the metallic stuff he extracted from Myfanwy's oesophagus.

"Lisa. I'd say."

"Oh." Jack said, feeling sorry for the poor thing lying there. "Will she be okay?"

"She should be. This was just hurting her, preventing her from swallowing anything, that's all." Owen said, taking off his gloves. "Don't worry, you're precious pet will be fine."

Jack came down into the lab and took the pterodactyl gently in his arms. "I should take her back to her nest while she is still sleeping," he said.

"Yes, probably," Owen said. "I hate to say it, but if it wasn't for me checking on what Ianto was doing up there, that thing would have died of dehydration in the next few hours."

"I let him know that," Jack answered. "And thanks for caring."

Even though Myfanwy had shown up just the night before Ianto's arrival, the team considered the pteranodon as one of Jack's pets. It would never have occurred to Owen that she could have been more precious to Ianto than to Jack.

Ianto didn't sleep well, not that he was usually sleeping well anyway. So he was early. It was stupid; Jack was not going to let him in before time. He waited. Jack waited until the last minute to open the door. It was only a matter of discipline, nothing else.

Ianto went down directly to the kitchenette to make Jack's first cup of coffee. As soon as this was done he could look for Myfanwy.

"She's fine." Jack told him quietly as soon as Ianto stepped in the main Hub.

"Really?" he asked glancing toward the autopsy bay.

"I checked on her, less than an hour ago. She's fine." Jack said. What Jack was not going to say, was that he had spent most of the night cuddling the pteranodon. "You'll probably have to feed her with mush for a while."

"Mush?"

"Yeah, like a baby bird."

Ianto was puzzled; there was some kind of guilt in Jack's eyes. He went to the kitchen, made two coffees and brought both to Jack's office, where the Captain had been heading.

"So, what is wrong with her?" he asked, giving Jack his cup.

"Something was stuck in her throat. Owen took it out."

"Something?" Ianto asked, genuinely puzzled.

"You don't want to know." Jack answered quickly. Too quickly.

"Okay." Ianto said quietly. "I should probably make that fish mush before the others ask for their coffee."

"Yeah." Jack agreed, focusing on savouring his coffee. Trying to tell Ianto, he should have asked for help with Myfanwy was useless. The young man was still not there yet. He was making progress, though. For the first time since Lisa the coffee wasn't decaf.

By the end of the day, Myfanwy had eaten all her mush and was asking for more. Everyone was back on regular fantastic coffee and Owen was savouring a last one with his captain before leaving.

"So?" he said. "The kid really has a thing for freaks."

Jack glanced up from his own cup.

"Do you really think I didn't notice how much he cares for her?"

Jack sat back in his chair with a wide, pleased grin, but didn't say anything. Myfanwy was healing, the team's scars were healing, and everything was on its way to being fine.

What could possibly go wrong, now?


	24. Chapter 24

**Title:** Let's call this a date.

**Prompt:** Day at the beach.  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Capt. Jack Harkness/ Ianto Jones.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Language.  
**Summary:** Jack and Ianto share a very unusual moment.

**Word count:** 1 137 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

Ianto had been walking bare foot in the sand for some time. It was a nice beach; a single band of white sand stretching as far as he could see and into the golden ocean. Two ghostly moons peered over the horizon of a pale blue sky. This place was nowhere on Earth.

Suddenly he felt fingers brushing gently against his.

"Oh. Here you are." Ianto said.

Jack gave him a smile.

"What is this place?" Ianto asked.

"Boeshane." Jack answered, looking around.

"There is a city over there," Ianto said, turning to point on the other direction, "But whenever I try to walk towards it, it just... gets further away."

"There's nothing for you there." Jack answered, turning his back to the city. "Let's walk this way."

This was a dream, an induced dream. Ianto was now familiar with the concept, and with this particular place. This dream belonged to Jack. Several times the Captain had pushed this particular dream, his safe place he had explained to Ianto, into his mind to help him out of the nightmares that used to haunt his nights.

But it was the first time the Captain ever joined him here.

"What are we doing here?" Ianto asked.

"You don't remember? You have been hurt and you had a bad reaction to the sedative Owen gave you."

"Bad? How bad?"

"Getting delirious and panicking, nothing more."

"So, in fact; I'm in the Hub?"

"Ah, no. Your place, just you and me."

"Okay. So I'm fine." Ianto said, a bit relieved. If they were home it meant either his case was desperate or he just needed some rest. "Can we enjoy this place as long as we want?"

"As long and as much as you want."

"Could we have a swim?"

"Of course." Jack replied as if Ianto had just asked for what the Captain was hoping for. Jack was now completely naked. He had not undressed. He was just naked as Ianto suddenly was too. The young man glanced towards the city.

"Nobody is coming." Jack stated. "This is my dream."

"Are you sure?" Ianto asked. "'cause, in mine you can be sure someone would show up, preferably at the worst possible time."

"If this was your dream, Ianto Jones, we would be surrounded by cybermen and cannibals."

"Cyber-cannibals more likely." Ianto admitted.

The prospect of dreaming someone else's dream was still something very disturbing to Ianto, even if it was Jack's dream.

"Stop rambling and let me show you the wonders I had grown in the sea." Jack said, beckoning Ianto into the water. The liquid was crystal clear with a golden touch.

"What is it?"

"Microorganisms; plankton like."

"Looks like gold dust."

"It's gold to this world. The first feeding source for most of the indigenous species."

The water felt strangely consistent against his body, it was cool but not cold. Jack was already swimming ahead moving through the water with the ease of a dolphin.

"Eh! You could have waited for me."

Jack came back, circling around him.

"I do." he said before diving under the surface.

"Do you remember that I can't breathe under water?"

_*It's just a dream Ianto. Come on, let me show you how it's working.*_ Jack answered. Ianto realised he was hearing him directly in his head. Of course this was a dream, but Ianto couldn't prevent a bit of apprehension when he dived to follow Jack.

_*Trust me.*_ Jack's voice sounded comforting. _*Just breathe normaly.*_

The first breath had been awkward, slightly burning. Ianto could taste the salty water on his tongue, but he was breathing, breathing under water. Jack was still waiting, silently watching him.

_*Show me.*_ Ianto asked.

_*Follow me and keep your eyes wide open.* _

They swam and played in what looked to Ianto like the most wonderful tropical aquarium, surrounded by painted fish and funny bugs all dressed in wonderful colours, shells of all shapes and sizes, corals and sea flowers and stars. A shoal of tiny blue fish with a single purple stripe attacked them making Ianto giggle at their gentle touch.

_*Are there any predators?*_ he asked.

_* There are, but not so close to the shore and not in this dream anyway.*_

_*Can we go back to the shore? I feel tired.*_

_*That will be the sedative fading. Does it hurt?*_

_*No, just feeling numb as if my body is getting heavier.*_

There they were, already back on the sand, large towels waiting for them, even though they were already dry. Ianto set himself comfortably on the red one as Jack sprawled on the blue one.

"Every thing's in the details." Ianto said approvingly.

Lying on his belly, Jack was fumbling in the sand under his towel.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for sand-strawberries." Jack answered, holding proudly what looked like a dehydrated red grape. "Open your mouth."

Ianto looked doubtfully at the fruit.

"What's that?"

"Just open your mouth and trust me."

"Can I?" Ianto answered with a smirk, but he opened his mouth anyway. "Humm. Wow. What was that?"

"Some kind of sand-mollusc." Jack replied. "We used to come here after school to pick them as a snack."

Ianto winced at the thought, and Jack laughed.

"How is it that you can so easily get in my head to share what would be very old memories to you?"

"In the first place, because you gave me permission to, when you allowed me to connect my mind to yours and also because the drugs have weakened your self-preservation mechanisms."

"So this isn't the kind of thing we are likely to do again?"

"Not on regular basis, unless you plan on becoming a drug addict."

"No. Thanks. That's not on my schedule." Ianto replied, "What if I wanted to share with you something special? Would it work the other way around?"

"Yes it should. What have you in mind?"

"I'd like to show you how it feels to have sex as an empath."

"I think I already love your idea, Mister Jones." Jack said mischievously. "I rather like to know how you feel when you fuck me."

Some would think; what an ego. Ianto wondered if that was actually a lack of self confidence.

"I think, you should top." Ianto said.

"Why's that?"

"'Cause I'm unconscious, remember? I guess you're not."

"We don't need to actually do it. I bet you've got enough imagination to take me were you want me." Jack teased him. "I want to know what you feel when you fuck me."

"I feel you, the whole of you." Ianto said before claiming Jack's mouth.

They had sex on the beach, the sea lurking gently at their ankles. They rolled in the sand of a world not yet colonized, taking and giving as much as they could until finally Ianto felt asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Title:** Dancing with her, dancing with him.

**Prompt:** Dancing  
**Fandom/Characters**: Torchwood, Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper-Williams and Ianto Jones.  
**Medium:** fic  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** Jack's train of thought during Gwen's wedding reception.

**Word count:** 818 more or less.

**Note:** Written for Schmoop Bingo

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

It had been a hell of a day and a hell of a wedding. He had nearly lost her. And it would have been his fault. He should not have taken her with him on that hunt just because he wanted her to stay a little bit longer with him as Miss Gwen Cooper. He had been stupid and selfish, and she got hurt.

The case was closed; the monster had been stopped, a man was lying dead upstairs in a room, and they would have a lot of cleaning to do.

But right now they were dancing. It was just the two of them. She was in his arms and he was feeling good, so good. Rhys was the right man for her, it was something Jack had understood for a long time now; or was it just that he had convinced himself not to get too involved with her?

Like another man could stop him from getting a girl he really wanted. No. Gwen being married wouldn't change anything for him, for them. He loved her and would continue to love her.

He got lost in his thought just enjoying the dance; feeling her body so responsive against him, letting his mind wonder on the possibilities. Those sparkling dark eyes looking up at him; he could have dived into and drawn in those eyes. He loved her, really loved her.

They could run away, he would take her hand and he knew she would follow. Running with the bride and ravishing her as soon as he could found a quiet place. Sex with her would be fabulous, they were highly compatible, that was something he'd known for sure since the first day.

He looked into her eyes; she was waiting, waiting for him to make a move. Tempting so tempting. But the consequences would be disastrous; after such a scandal retconning the whole party could be more complicated. His team would be furious with him, starting with Owen and Tosh, and as for Ianto? That could be fun. Of course his young lover would be angry, would call him selfish and irresponsible, but the makeup sex with Ianto would be just a plus in favour of the escapade.

No, the real problem was her. She would come with him he knew that for sure just looking in her eyes. She would come and would never forgive him for that. She would never forgive him for breaking her dreams by making them real, and would hate him for that because reality always deceives dreams.

As pragmatic as she looked Gwen Cooper had issues with reality. She couldn't bare it when he proved not to be the entirely reliable hero she believe him to be. She was always confronting him on every detail, forcing him to do even more, or better than he intend to in the first place. And that was what he had hired her for; that was also what had seduce him to her; her very demanding side. It was undoubtedly a good dynamic for Torchwood and for the team. But she would want a real relationship and a relationship with her would be hell, at least for him.

Rhys looked like if he was coping, though. But she didn't look at Rhys like she was looking up to him, and that was the point; Rhys was allowed to fail, he was not.

He held her a bit closer, as close as he could, her body against his, her breath against his nape, it felt so good. Tempting so tempting and she was not helping. He wasn't a saint and, having her responding like that was so hard to resist. He looked into her eyes again hoping to find some warning to back off, but there was none. A kiss, just a kiss. What could be bad about kissing the bride? Those lips were so waiting for him. Tempting so tempting. _Help. Someone, anyone help_!

Ianto. Smooth and sharp Ianto, reliable Ianto, here was the real hero saving the party, saving the bride from the scandal and his Captain from being blamed. Dancing with Ianto, his hot body against his. It was so comforting to be held like that by the other man. There was confidence and understanding in Ianto's blue eyes. Ianto didn't look up to him, and was always there to catch and hold Jack when he failed.

Ianto was not offering more than he could give and not asking for more than Jack was ready to give. That was the point. Jack knew he could lose himself in Ianto, because Ianto was strong enough to take him as he was. Jack loved her, really loved her, but it would only be a fireworks with her, and it would ends in tears and in the end she would hate him just like the others before her, before him.


	26. Chapter 26

**Title:** Torchwood hunting at the mall

**Characters:** Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, and Suzie Costello.

**Rating:** PG

**Warnings**: Animal hunting.

**Author's note:** pre-season 1, written for a French challenge, the prompt being: writing an action scene. There will be a sequel.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD and the BBC.

**Beta:**

...

If the rift persisted on staying silent, they were all bound to go mad. It was quiet, too quiet, and for far too long.

As for Ianto the situation was becoming critical. He was running out of excuses to escape the Captain's attentions. Not that it wasn't interesting. Jack was extremely inventive, and from any point of view Ianto could think of. The problem was that as soon as the man entered his personal space, Ianto could never tell him _no_, in spite of his good intentions, but the young man had limits, while the Captain seemed to have none.

To be honest, while Jack and Ianto releived their boredom in the archives, Owen and Suzie were doing much the same in the lab. Meanwhile, Tosh had developed a nice little program that allowed her to bypass the Hub's CCTV, making herself a nice collection of free porn.

"I do not know how you can still walk," Suzie exclaimed as she saw Ianto coming back from the archives.

"Missing it?" Ianto replied, and then glancing toward the autopsy room, he added: "Clearly you didn't get a better call. Coffee?"

"Coffee!" the other three responded in chorus.

"Coffee," Suzie said too, looking Ianto over from head to foot like a zoo animal: "He'll get tired, you know,"

"Should I conclude that he was the one who got tired?" he asked sarcastically, taking the direction of the kitchen.

Suzie had never liked Ianto, she wasn't sure why, but she didn't like him. He was too smooth and too polished to be true.

"So Tosh, are these algorithms still running?" she asked.

"Yes, yes" Tosh said quickly resuming her work like a good little girl. "Oh!" she said.

"Oh?" three voices asked.

"Jaaack! We've got an alert." She shouted.

"Of course at rush hour," Owen said.

"Where?" Jack hastened to her.

"Hey, give me a minute," Tosh replied, "At Toy's R's."

"Shit," Owen and Susie said in unison.

"Tosh, with us. Ianto you're monitoring us from here," Jack said.

It wasn't really the best hour to drive across the city, and as they approached their destination they had to drive through a crowd of panicked people. The residents of Cardiff weren't yet accustomed to looking elsewhere.

"Ah, there you are! Up there, first floor, it came out of nowhere, it's huge," A cop told them. The man was clearly relieved to have someone he could throw the bones at.

"What does it look like?" Owen asked while checking his weapon.

"Well, I'm not a Jurassic Park fan," the young cop stuttered.

Jack frowned then, putting his gun back in its holster, he began to look around and into the crowd until he found what he wanted.

"Hey! Kid. Yes you," he shouted to a six or seven-years-old boy looking more fascinated than frightened.

"Did you see it?"

"Yes, sir. A triceratops, as big as your car," the kid told him with a cheer enthusiasm.

"Oh, that should be a baby, then?" Jack replied.

The boy pondered a moment, and then agreed with the Captain.

"Ok, looks like we're back on business, kids," he said opening the back of the 4x4 to load up with more adequate weaponry.

"Jack, just to be sure; you don't intend to adopt it?" Owen asked sarcastically.

"Why not? It's just a baby, Owen? Don't you have a heart?" Jack replied displaying a large grin while throwing to the doctor one of the two hypodermic guns in which he had invested since Myfanwy's capture. Then, he said through his com for Ianto: "I think we need you to come and join us with the lorry."

"Since when do we have a lorry?" Suzie asked as they entered the mall, now completely emptied of its human occupants.

"Did I forget to mention it?" Jack replied.

"Yep," the other three said in chorus.

"You know, we're really a heck of a team," Jack said indicating by a simple gesture that they should scatter.

Following the trail of a triceratops in a mall, even that large wasn't really a problem. However the capture could turn out to be more difficult.

"Hey Jack. I hope you bought the rhino-model." Owen commented, through its com.

"The oversized-rhino-model thanks to the kind of game around here," Jack replied.

"Hey Ianto, did Jack ever tell you that the lorry was to offer Myfanwy a friend to play with?" Suzie said through her com.

"What?" Ianto snapped as he was just reaching the evacuated perimeter.

"Looks like you've been promoted from butler to menagerie keeper," Owen joked.

"I'm not sure it's a promotion," Ianto grumbled. Even if he was pleased that Jack had kept Myfanwy, he was beginning to find that Jack's mania for taking care of all the _harmless lost travellers_ to be as exhausting as his sexual ardour.

"Look out," the captain shouted, reminding them what they were there for.

Jack had found the Triceratops, but had apparently lost his gun. Hopefully the beast was in playful mood. First Tosh, and then Suzie watched their captain pass by them, soon followed by a beautiful baby weighing about three tons.

"Don't miss it!" Jack shouted as he passed by Owen.

The vibrations caused by the dinosaur's gallop had completely unbalanced the doctor and his shot just missed the Captain.

Jack forgivingly grabbed Owen by his arm dragging him along in his run for safety.

"Don't stop. I think he just wants to play but it is a bit too big," the Captain told him.

"Really? Didn't you talk about adopting it?"

"Adopting, not cuddling with it," Jack pointed out.

Having reached the end of the alley, Owen turned left and headed to a storage room, while Jack turned right along the rail that defined the core area, where stairs, escalators and elevators intersected in a pretty mess.

The creature coming straight from prehistoric time opted for the man coming with a lot of detour from a far future: he smelled good!

Tosh and Suzie did the same but in the other way around in order to put themselves in position just before the last turn and waited for their captain and his pursuer.

Spotting them Jack chose to go straight forward, offering the girls a better firing angle. They both emptied their magazines into the beast, which only attracted its attention. It was now clearly hesitating between the two pretty women and the guy who smelled good, cruel dilemma!

"It's an herbivore," Ianto told them through his com, he had been finally able to cross the police line forbidding access to the site.

"Here's our specialist in dinosaur," Suzie said with a little smile as she and Tosh tried to initiate a strategic withdrawal while reloading their weapons.

His game buddy seeming about to abandon him, Jack returned cautiously to his path.

"Hey Harkness! Don't tell me that you're intending to try and catch it with bare hands now?" Owen said arriving on the other side.

"I'm not going to let it charge the girls. He might be herbivorous but it must surely weigh at least three-tons," Jack replied.

"Hey - Expert? Any ideas?" Owen asked Ianto through his com.

"Did someone think about bringing chocolate?" Ianto asked back.

The four others teammates glanced at each other, at least three of them were completely at loss while the triceratops was still hesitating, especially as it had now registered the other potential players coming from behind.

"Nope. Obviously nobody got that," Jack said.

"There must be a supermarket on the ground floor, if you're in need," Suzie added sarcastically. "But believe it or not, we've got a job to do right now."

"We used chocolate in order to capture Myfanwy," Ianto explained.

"And a large syringe, that I should have kept," Jack added. He was now getting very close to the dinosaur's tail under the bewildered look of Owen.

"Owen, can you tell him a syringe must not be reused," Ianto argued. The young man went off in search of chocolate.

Meanwhile, as the beast chose the new girls as his playmates, Jack, caught it by the tail and pulled with all his strength. This did not significantly slow the big baby, but after a good ten yards, it became annoyed. The dinosaur turned around sharply to face the man hanging onto his tail for dear life. Unfortunately this last move sent the Captain flying several meters in the air and over the railing.

In his haste, the Triceratops, unaccustomed to the fragility of aluminium and Plexiglas railings, was taken by his own weight to fall two floors below.

Owen, Tosh and Susie rushed down the stairs to find Jack, while Ianto was staring at the mass that had just missed crushing him. The young man felt a little guilty for being relieved that this venerable testimony of the past was dead on the spot.

"Jack, did you see Jack?" Tosh shouted.

"Jack?"

Jack had fallen between the escalators, and the chances that he was still in one piece were...

"Is there anyone kind enough to give me a hand?" Jack voice called out.

Jack was one floor below, struggling to get out of a large storage bin of fruits and vegetables.

"How is our friend?" Jack asked when he saw the whole team coming to rescue him.

"Sorry," they replied in a sad chorus.

"You make a nice bunch of hypocrites," he said brushing his coat. "Okay, well, at least, we'll have meat for the winter. It makes a very good stew," he added displaying a large grin.

The end.


	27. Chapter 27

**Title:** Ghost Story

**Prompt:** On a Halloween night, but centuries after COE, Jack gets visited by a ghost. Is it real, or just a dream?

**Characters:** The man who used to call himself Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones' ghost.

**Rating:** PG-13, for some touching.

**Warnings:** None that I can think of.

**Summary:** In a very far future, on a small alien colony, a traveller is brooding when everyone around him is celebrating.

**Word count:** 1 192 more or less.

**Note:** I proposed different prompts for the Halloween Fest on Torchwood Fest Community and decided to write what came to me from it. It doesn't mean I'm going to do all the prompts I proposed or that I'm not going to take others' prompts.

**Beta:** Jooles34

…..

The unknown traveller sat down on parapet apart from the other guests. Pirates had attacked the small colony, and with the help of the Stanger they had managed to fight back and drive the pirates away. Now they were celebrating their victory.

"Another glass?" The voice was deep with a familiar accent. The words were in English, a language he hadn't heard for a very long-time. A human hand moved swiftly over his empty glass, and the glass was now full.

"I only drink water," the traveller said not bothering on looking up.

"It is water," the ghost said sitting by the traveller's side. "You should be celebrating," he added.

"I'm not really in the mood," the traveller replied.

"Yes. Because you know what's coming next, right?"

"I do."

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'm taking the next transport," the traveller said watching the ghost. "Why are you here? And why now?"

"Oh. I've always been there. You just never knew. Rules and regulations, that kind of thing, you know?" the ghost explained briefly. "So, you're running away, once again?" he asked.

"It's a text book case; first thing we're taught at the Time Academy. I can't do anything. I would cause a paradox," the traveller answered. "You didn't explain what is it about today that means I can see you?"

"Just me breaking the rules."

"Oh. Is there a reason?"

"Apart from being tired of just watching? No"

"Will it cause you problems?" the traveller worried.

"I'm dead, Jack. I'm a ghost. Nobody can hurt me anymore."

"Excuse me, I've been dead a bunch of times, but I've never been a ghost," the traveller said staring intensely at the too familiar ghost. "Can...?"

"Can we touch?" the ghost ended the question. "Close your eyes."

The traveller obeyed without thinking about twice. He felt a sweet faint brush against his lips; a ghostly kiss. When he opened his eyes again the ghost had sat back, or had he?

"It feels nice," the traveller said, his finger fumbling gently on his own lips looking for the memory of the intangible kiss. "Are you going to vanish at sunrise?" he asked.

"I'll be here."

"But I won't see you."

"You will," the ghost replied with a mischievous smile. "But, I'll ask you a favour."

"Oh. I should have guessed," the traveller said. "And what's would that be Mister Jones?"

"Stop running from life," the ghost replied. "You're immortal, not dead. You're still part of the world. You've got your part to play."

"I can't."

"Why? Because it hurts too much?" the ghost asked. "Does it hurt less when you run?"

"No, of course not," the traveller hastened, "And if, as you said, you've been there all the way, you sure know that."

"Yes, I know. And that's why I decided to break the rules and step in."

"If only I could do the same," the traveller said looking back at the party still going on, not very far from them. "Within two weeks they will all be dead, as dead as you are."

"You know what's going to happen and you can stop it. So why don't you?"

"I can't do that."

"Why? Because the Doctor told you so?"

"It's not about the Doctor. It's about changing the future. The future I'm coming from."

"Oh, stop it Jack," the ghost cut him off. "You know better. You've travelled with the man and you know he does that all the time; stepping in, changing events."

"He is a Time Lord. He knows what can be changed without damaging the time continuum."

"And you were made immortal by his time machine—"

"Don't call the Tardis a time machine, she is so much more."

"Okay, but you make my point here," the ghost said. "The Tardis made you immortal by linking you with the time-vortex. You've got a direct access to it. You can see into it. You just have to look."

The traveller looked at the ghost in puzzlement.

"Just look into the vortex Jack, and tell me what you see." He waited a moment watching his companion as he was searching the answers he needed. "Tell me Jack, will saving them cause major damage to the continuum?"

"No." Jack replied. "It won't," he added, standing up, ready for the next fight. He turned toward the ghost. "You're going to leave right?"

"I'll be there."

"You know what I mean."

"I'll come back."

...

Epilogue

It had been a long day, but it was over. The colony was safe now, and for a very long time. He had left before the beginning of the huge party they planned to hold for him. He didn't need that; he was content with leaving unnoticed. He threw his bag on the single bed of his cabin and headed to the shower. The Talusian transport would take him to Richina. Why Richina? Just because it was the next port.

Water, running water on his skin. That was good. The colony had to conserve water so showers there were sonic. He'd missed the water. When he turned it off he felt a chill running down his spine.

"Close your eyes," a deep voice said.

"I want to watch you."

"Close your eyes. You won't regret it."

He felt a trail of furtive and light kisses running across his shoulders and on his neck. The presence against his back was so faint, so light that he did not dare to move in fear that it would vanish if he tried to reach for it. The sensation was both soft and electrical, unnerving his senses. Soon, he was panting and the desperate need for more contact was becoming a sweet torture.

"Ssssh" the ghost calmed him.

"Want you," he hardly croaked.

Hands and lips were dancing frantically all over his body, but he could not take a hold on that body, even if he could feel it twitch restlessly against him. He was so eager to give back every kiss, every caress. It was both frustrating and exciting, He was desperate and finally he came in an agonising need for more, exhausted and shivering with pleasure.

When he opened his eyes the ghost was sitting in front of him in the shower.

"When did I get on my ass?" he asked.

"Didn't want you to break your neck," the ghost replied.

"And what about you," Jack asked. "Can you...?"

"Feel?" the ghost said. "Yes I can feel through you."

"So when you make love with me, you make love to yourself?"

The ghost laughed.

"It's nice to see you." Jack said. "I missed you."

"I know."


	28. Chapter 28

**Title:** Torchwood Meal

**Characters:** Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, and Suzie Costello.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's note:** pre-season 1, written for a French challenge, the prompt being: _dispute over the meal._ This is a sequel for Torchwood Hunting at the Mall.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD and the BBC.

**Beta:** imzadimylove

...

Loading the triceratops in the lorry had not been easy, three tons of dead meat, even for five of them, was still heavy. Especially since Jack and Owen were constantly arguing:

"You dropped more than thirty meters, Jack. Let me examine you before you do anything."

"I told you I'm fine, Owen."

"All right, we'll talk about it when you fall dead before our very eyes."

"OK, I'll let you check me as soon as this little baby is stored in a cold place. With today's heat, it's bound to turn," Jack finally conceded.

Yes, because even in Cardiff, summers can get hot.

"Oi! Cold storage?" Ianto yelped, abruptly coming out of shock which the ending of the hunt had left him in.

"Well, yes, we're not going to waste such good meat," Jack replied.

"You should take him back to Hub right away and complete a full check up," Suzie told Owen, used to Jack silly comments.

"Dinosaur meat is one of the most popular delicacies throughout the whole inhabited world. You people have no idea ..." Jack began to argue.

Suzie and Owen rolled their eyes in unison as Tosh and Ianto listened with quiet amusement as they all continued pulling and pushing on the poor dead beast.

"To be honest, if the dinosaurs disappeared it was because of the intensive hunting meant to supply an intergalactic contraband, and nothing else," Jack explained.

At this point, Owen was trying to decide between taking Jack to the nearest hospital, or break into laughter. Suzie was really exasperated, but Tosh was having a lot of fun, as Jack's sweet insanity was undoubtedly part of his charm.

Ianto found himself trying to calculate the additional workload this new fantasy of Jack would cost him. Eventually he consoled himself with the thought that it could have been worse if they had managed to take it alive.

"Cheer up kid. I'm going to make you a stew that you'll never forget," Jack said with a mischievous grin.

They finally managed to bring the carcass into the vault. Jack allowed Owen to run a quick exam on him but only after Owen had agreed to run a health analysis on the Triceratops before leaving.

In the meantime, Ianto and the girls stored the baby triceratops in the cold room using the lifting equipment recovered at Canary Wharf.

...

The next morning, Ianto was the first to arrive. Leaving Jack unattended in the Hub always made him nervous. It was difficult to predict what this devilish man would undertake when bored. He could sometimes be worse than a two-year-old kid. Reaching the kitchenette, Ianto almost had a heart attack.

Jack had trashed the kitchen. There was stuff everywhere. On the old furnace, a huge iron potwas overflowing, and there were enough vegetables waiting to supply a small army.

But Jack was nowhere to be seen.

First thing, Ianto turned the fire off, then as a good boy and perhaps out of curiosity, he stirred the stew. It smelled good, in fact it smelled very good. What about tasting? He hesitated, making a face as he thought about Myfanwy waiting for her own meal alone in her nest, then cautiously he licked the spoon.

"I see you." Jack's voice barked mockingly.

Ianto was surely not going to last very long in this place, he was bound to die young.

...

When the others finally arrived much later, the two men had had time to clean the mess in the kitchen and make some more in Jack's office. The reactions to the aroma released by the cooking were mixed.

"Are you planning on opening a canteen here now?" Owen asked, already cranky in the morning.

"Don't tell me you really did it?" Suzie said bewildered.

"Hum! It smells good though. Can we have a taste?" Tosh asked.

"Sure!" Jack said, displaying a wide grin. "Today is family dinner at Torchwood," he added.

"It's really good," Tosh said, handing the spoon to Suzie.

She sniffed it, and then tasted it right away. "Indeed. It's... hum...really good," she said refilling the spoon for Owen.

The medic took it with a disgusted grimace and tasted it. "Not that bad, I must admit, Harkness. Can I have some more? I didn't get the chance to have a proper breakfast before coming."


	29. Chapter 29

**Title:** Let's Have Some Fun

**Characters:** Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, and Gwen Cooper.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's note:** Set during season two, but before Reset, written for a French challenge, the prompt being: _shape-shifter_, I took it as an opportunity to take out my personal sweet-shape-shifters; the Water Flowers you already met in _Intergalactic Turkish Bath. _There will be a sequel.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD and the BBC.

**Beta:** Jooles34

...

There was an alert, the fifth in two days, and even Jack was exhausted. But he had taken the wheel, being the only one still able to drive.

"Break!" they had all exclaimed.

Sort of.

"The Home Showroom," Tosh announced.

At the next junction Jack negotiated a nice U-turn on two wheels.

"Sorry, I thought it was at the shopping centre," he apologized to his passengers who were feebly protesting.

"Are you sure you're really fit to drive?" Gwen said trying hard to keep her eyes open.

"The cops are already on site and have secured the perimeter," Ianto said, suppressing a yawn.

"They sometimes need to prove they can be useful," Owen commented. He was feeling a little stranded tucked between Tosh and Gwen on the back seats, Ianto had taken the front passenger seat.

"Does anyone have any useful information?" Jack asked.

"Five humanoid life forms, moving with a lot of grace," Ianto said, relaying the information on pirated police airwaves.

"Didn't I always tell you that everything was about style?" Jack commented with a grin.

...

When they arrived near the Showroom, it was far from panicked, in fact everything was calm and quiet, and if the police seemed to have any issues it was mainly about evacuating the curious witnesses.

"In the spa and swimming pool section. There are five of them," Andy yelled at them recognizing Gwen.

"What do they look like?"Jack asked while, given the general fatigue, he opted for heavy weapons and went straight to open the back of the SUV.

"Sex being difficult to determine despite their nudity. Pretty pastel colours, slightly translucent," the young cop said, and then, looking at the kind of bazooka Jack was about to take, he added: "And absolutely no sign of hostility. No one was hurt, no -"

"The ambulances and fire-fighters are they here for decoration?"Owen asked.

"No, they are on duty for the duration of the Show," Andy explained.

"Translucent, pastel colours, and a lot of grace, I'd say that our day job is improving," Ianto summarised stoically.

"Could it be Fengeldubbitomîode'n?" Jack asked himself aloud.

"Bless you, Harkness!" the doctor replied.

"Swimming pool, or spa, no determined sex," Jack listed.

"Despite the nudity," Gwen and Tosh added watching their Captain storing back the weaponry in the 4x4.

"I'd say: Fengeldubbitomîode'n,"Jack said with a smile from ear to ear. "Did I ever told you how much I loved this job?" he continued, addressing his colleagues who were really too tired to argue about anything. Then, turning to Andy he said: "You lot better got the area evacuated and don't let anyone inside under any circumstances."

"Come on, kids. We've got a job to do," he said, pushing his hands up to the wrists into his trousers pockets before heading toward the showroom entrance.

On the way, Jack could not resist scaring a few latecomers toward the exit; for his small team who knew him, he was clearly in play mode. They were all too tired to worry any more about it.

"Jack, what do you know about fuldgébiton?" Gwen asked.

"Fengeldubbitomîode'n," Ianto corrected without thinking.

"You know about them?" Jack asked, only mildly surprised.

"No, but you just mentioned them. Don't you remember?" Ianto explained with a puzzled look.

"Can you repeat that word once again without biting your tongue?" Owen asked.

"Uh... Too tired, I'm afraid," the archivist finally admitted.

With a broad smile, Jack turned towards Ianto to straighten his tie and reward him with an encouraging slap on the cheek.

"We're going to have fun," Jack cheered him.

"I'm afraid, I'm too worn out to share your definition of fun, Jack," he replied.

...

As they finally arrived in the spa display area they spotted a group of five humanoid forms who looked like interesting customers.

"Wait over here until I call you. You're going to scare them. They are a little timid," Jack said.

"Isn't it what we're supposed to do? Be the terror of aliens?" Owen reminded him.

Jack looked at him with an evil eye, "If anyone of you does any harm to any of these creatures, I strangle him or her with my bare hands! Understood?"

The four teammates looked at each other, once again clearly worried for their Captain's mental health. They let him walk ahead and followed at a safe distance to watch an intriguing scene unfold.

The afore mentioned strange creatures seemed interested in a huge spa, but reluctant to try it.

"I wouldn't recommend it either," Jack said, who advanced with the rolling gait that he usually adopted when he was hunting a quite different type of game. "Too much chlorine, I'm afraid."

It wasn't just an impression; their Captain was now clearly on flirt mode.

"Chisghuepj hdjyrpsk seujojki?" one of the lovely things asked.

"Yes, I know they can't stop themselves from adding it to thesethings ," he replied scratching the back of his neck like he was searching for some idea. He came by the large tank and plunged his hand in it.

"Iepeidoejyhrpq?" the creature asked looking a bit worried.

"I should be able to fix it," he replied, looking around him. "Tosh: copper tubing there. Ianto, the generator there," Jack pointed at them. In the meanwhile, he continued to talk with his new friends, but by adopting their language with an amazing ease.

"You talk fenjudtruc?" Gwen asked.

"They're using a pretty basic Common." Jack replied as if it was obvious.

"Common?" she asked puzzled.

"Interstellar Esperanto," Tosh translated with a shrug.

Jack had connected the copper tube to a cable connected to the generator and plunged it into the water.

"Ianto! When you're ready, man," he said to the young man who was nearly sleeping on his heels by the generator. Ianto casted a suspicious eye at the connection, but turned it on anyway.

Jack opened his wristband device to study only God knows what.

"Ok, that's enough," he called out to Ianto who turned the generator off.

Meanwhile, the creatures who happened to be less timid than Jack's attitude may have suggested, came closer to the human team, inspecting them with kindness and a keen interest. They had wide eyes of vibrant colours that contrasted with their granular epidermis.

"All right. Bath is ready." Jack called out, already undressing.

"Jack what do you think you're doing now?"Ianto asked, as if seeing Jack naked had suddenly forced him out of his lethargy. Although Owen appeared frozen in stupor at the spectacle.

"I'm initiating a conversation with our lovely guests," he replied, stepping over the edge of the pool.

"Naked?"

"That's how I take my bath, but if you prefer to keep your underwear that's your problem, Owen. I don't think they'll get upset."

"Jack, are you planning on getting us into an orgy with those aliens?" Ianto asked suspiciously, while the Fengeldubbitomîode'n had undertaken to join Jack.

"Come on, just give me some credit," Jack said with a mischievous grin.

"Ok," the young man replied undoing his tie.

For a while the girls watched, chuckling, and then began to undress. Ianto had dropped all his clothes, no more embarrassed by his nakedness than Jack, and joined him.

"Oooh! That's good!" he exclaimed, letting himself sink into the bubbling pool.

"And that just the beginning," Jack said lasciviously.

The girls climbed over the spa's edge. To Jack's amusement and to the aliens' wonder they had kept their panties.

"Ouuuh, right, that's good" Gwen agreed, while trying to slip into the water without touching one of Fengeldubbitomîode'n.

"Owen, don't play shy," the Captain said to the doctor who was taking his time to finish undressing, grumbling that he hadn't signed on for this.

Two of the creatures seemed very interested in Jack, not only looking but touching under Ianto's worried watch. They seemed to be doing a systematic review of his anatomy. But when the young man tried to slip between them and his lover, one of them, the blue one, obviously took it for an invitation, and Ianto was quickly overwhelmed by so much familiarity.

When Owen had finally decided to join them, it was to see the young man being literally swallowed by an enormous sea anemone.

"Help!" Ianto screamed without much conviction.

"Relax, I've warned them that you can't breathe under water."

"What the hell is that?"Owen said with a grimace.

"Water flowers. They can take a pseudo-human appearance," Jack said while his lover was trying hard to recover a minimum of his balance, as _his_ flower was almost completely wrapped around him.

"However, they are very cuddly," he said sheepishly. "Oh lord! It feels so good," he continued, sinking.

"Hundreds of fingers, their _massages_ are famous throughout the entire universe and saved their kind from extinction," Jack explained.

"This is exactly what we needed," Tosh said, letting herself sink between the pink tentacles attacking her with extraordinary dexterity.

Owen had entered the water warily, watching the two big purple eyes that were looking at him.

"They do not bite! Owen," Jack said, mockingly, as he urged the flower that had remained with him to go help her friend to take care of Ianto, who wasn't asking for so much.

"I'm fine with adopting them," the archivist managed to say before disappearing submerged once more.

"I knew you would like them," Jack said, watching Owen being tackled by the beautiful shape-shifter.

"And think, right now, there are people out there, who think we are risking our lives to protect them." Gwen pointed out with a not so guilty smile.

"Yep, for once, it'll make a change," Owen replied, ultimately pleased with the turn that had taken this mission.

End


	30. Chapter 30

**Title**: The Weevils' Masquerade

**Author: **takisys

**Prompt**: Jack/Ianto; Weevil hunting.

**Summary**: It's Halloween, Jack has some plan, but he's not the only one.

**Characters/ pairing**: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Owen, Tosh and some special guests.

**Rating**: PG-13 for some touching.

**Warnings**: Just me playing with the prompt and shamelessly cheating.

**Author's note**: Written for the Halloween fest from Torchwood Fest community.

**Beta**: imzadimylove and jooles34 for the Brit picking

...

Jack tumbled into the main Hub carrying a box almost as big as him.

"You're a little early Harkness," Owen bantered. "Christmas isn't for two months."

"Yep, but Halloween is tonight if I recall," the Captain replied, putting his box down on the coffee table.

"Don't tell me you're planning on dressing us up?" "Ianto asked worriedly.

"As weevils?" Gwen asked with a disgusted grin, as she held out a mask of the said box.

"There's a new joke shop, offering all types of costume for hire and sale that's just opened in town and I just confiscated this," Jack explained removing his coat.

"They look quite like the real thing; you better be careful next time you go hunting," Gwen stated.

"Because you really think weevils are in real danger with those two?" Owen commented. "Seriously, do you know if he has sold a lot of those?" he asked.

"Three or four, the box is still almost full," Jack replied. "Though there could have been other boxes I suppose."

"Didn't you check the stock status?" Ianto asked.

"No, but hey there were lots of other cool costumes," Jack began to explain.

"What were you doing in a joke store?" Tosh suddenly asked.

"That really isn't the important point right now," Ianto cut in. "Halloween, as you said earlier, is tonight, most people have already bought or hired their outfit. At least, those who intend to dress up."

"Did your shop keeper tell you where he'd found these masks?" Owen asked.

"In fact, he managed to escape," Jack replied with a discomfited grin.

"Ianto you're coming with me, we better check the goods receipts at the shop," Gwen said.

Ianto was already on his way to follow without even reminding her she wasn't the actual boss when Jack blocked their path.

"I'll do this. I know where it is. I'll go back." he jerked putting his coat back on. "Purchase orders, receipts and all that." he listed.

"If you could also bring back anything useful in order to make a formal identification on your dealer, like DNA sample, fingerprints, it would be nice, too. You never know." Owen suggested.

"Consider it done. I'll be right back."

"I suspect our Captain has plans for tonight," Tosh said addressing a knowing smile toward Ianto.

"That's what I fear," he replied with a sigh.

...

Jack came back with all the shop's paperwork, a DNA sample and a wide choice of fingerprints.

"Apparently, he has sold only 28 weevil masks," Ianto said after a quick inventory.

"Well, Okay. First: we won't go hunting tonight," Jack said. "Then you, Gwen, you'll go and tell your nice buddies on the Force that a batch of smuggled disguises sold around town are carrying a disease risk and need to be confiscated. Remove on site as a matter of public health."

"We can't send them hunting weevils, Jack," Gwen and Tosh responded as one.

"True, but weevils rarely wander around in the company of ghosts or pirates," the Captain pointed out. "More generally, when there are too many people in the streets, the real ones remain in the sewers."

"Yep, it's true that they 're naturally shy," Ianto agreed "Except when they're overtaken by aggressive impulses."

"If we get involved tonight we might only provoke panic," Jack finally said. "We're better dealing with it tomorrow."

"Yes, we could arrange a return due to manufacturing defect, I think buyers will be happy to return a disguise they probably won't use again anyway; especially if they get a refund." Gwen proposed.

"I'd say it looks like the better call," Jack agreed.

"And guess who's going to deal with the hard graft?" Ianto muttered, turning away on his heel.

...

Everyone had left the Hub long time ago, but Tosh had stayed.

"Have you found something interesting on our weevils' dealer?" Jack asked walking over.

"I can already tell you Bob Sinclair is not his real name and about his weevils, they were made for him in Pakistan."

"Wow! That doesn't sound good, if you ask me," he replied.

"That's why I'm still looking for more."

"Did you get anything yet?"

"In fact, I found his real name is Ethan Raynes, one of her Majesty's subjects. He got into trouble with the authorities and has been transferred from the various universities where he studied or taught."

"Indiscretions?"

"The fact is that I can't find any charge other than troublemaker," Tosh replied with a sigh.

"Do you really think a mere _troublemaker_ is worth you spending your evening here?"

"In fact, I've nothing better to do, and you know me when something nags at me," she replied without looking up from her screen. "But that shouldn't stop you from having fun. If by any chance I find anything really interesting, I'll call you. "

"Okay, well I'm going for a ride," Jack said

"Have fun," Tosh said, finally lifting her head and giving him a knowing smile. "I'll call you only if there is something urgent," she said.

Jack grabbed his coat, a large paper bag and took off in the direction of the underground car park. Toshiko staying late in the Hub was making things a bit more complicated. He wanted to surprise Ianto and in order to do so, he had to change outfits. He couldn't do it in the Hub because of cameras and more precisely because Tosh had little _thing_ with cameras. He would have to change in the 4x4 which might require some acrobatics.

...

It was night, and nobody paid much attention to the beautiful redheaded nurse emerging from her black 4x4. He couldn't stop himself when he'd spotted it among the lots of other costumes; it was loosely based on nursing uniforms worn during the war. Arriving at the entrance of the building, he removed his coat, and while waiting for the lift, he adjusted his blouse and the wide Audrey Hepburn's style skirt. In the cabin, he checked his curled wig was still right and put on the small cap completing the outfit. A few minutes later, his coat over his arm, he was ringing at Ianto's door.

Ianto nearly strangled on his mouthful of beer.

"What do you think?" he asked, closing the door behind him, while Ianto tried to catch his breath back.

"You're really incredible," the young man eventually managed to articulate, wiping his eyes.

"Of course, I am," Jack replied, taking the bottle of beer from Ianto's hands to put it in a safer place. "So, do you like what you see?"

"The worst is that you're truly sublime," Ianto laughed, drawing his Captain in his arms. "What are you wearing under there?" he asked sliding his hand under the skirt to cup the buttocks of his lover.

"Hey, what kind of a gentleman are you?" Jack protested but squeezing even more against him. "I know you're interested," he added feeling the young man's erection pressing against his, despite his skirt and petticoat.

Ianto replied by taking his mouth in a long and possessive kiss. His hands finally managed to slip under the Captain's skirts, while the older man slipped his inside the large jeans Ianto wore outside of working hours. Ianto took advantage of the situation to tighten his embrace, his hardening shaft desperately seeking more contact with Jack's.

And then it was gone. Ianto frowned; failure was not really the kind of thing that usually affected the Captain. He looked down for an answer, but his eyes were stopped by a lovely pair of breasts that had no reason to be there.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked not so innocently.

"Jack?" Ianto asked with a grimace. Not that the view wasn't appealing, but seeing his lover shifting gender before his very eyes was a little unsettling.

"What's the problem?"

"Well, look at yourself."

"What's the matter? Don't tell me that I've a sudden rash," Jack replied heading toward the nearest mirror. "Well, then what's the problem?" she asked, shaking gracefully her beautiful lock of hair.

"You're a woman," Ianto summarised.

"Of course, I am."

...

"There's absolutely no way that I will ever cross the city decked out in that," Gwen said holding back a giggle.

"It's Halloween Gwen. It's meant to be fun," Rhys pleaded.

"Whatever, you already can't drive like this," Gwen argued. "And if I put this outfit on, I won't be able to drive either."

"I 'spose you've got a point. But you'll change in the car when we get there?"

"Yes, I will," she replied coming to kiss him, "You look like a big teddy bear like that," she joked, feeling the softness of his costume.

"I'm supposed to be a rooster, not a teddy bear."

"Are you sure you're a rooster?" she asked, stepping back to admire Rhys' outfit. "I'd say it rather looks more like a big fat chicken."

"I am a cock."

"If you say, so," Gwen teased him grabbing the mermaid costume Rhys had found for her in one hand and the car keys in the other. "Come on, we'll be late."

Rhys had to struggle to get into the car; not only was he tall but his costume added bulk to his already large fram.

"Well, I'm not in danger of getting a cold," he said.

"You might even get too hot," Gwen replied. She still couldn't believe Rhys had invested in such costumes for an evening with friends.

"I couldn't refuse such a bargain, Gwen," he had told her. "It really was the deal of a lifetime."

She hadn't driven half a mile, when she found herself trapped in her car with a huge chicken passenger flapping as much as he could.

"Good Lord, Rhys," she yelled.

Distracted she momentarily took her eyes off the road and had to pull the wheel sharply, swerving across the road, narrowly missing an oncoming car. She brought the car to a stop as soon as she could. Rhys, now fitted with a sharp beak, struggled madly to free himself from his belt, cackling like crazy.

"What ...?" she said horrified, and got out of the car. She looked around for a moment, searching for an answer, and then took out her mobile to call the Hub, but it began to vibrate before she even had time to dial the number.

...

Dr Owen Harper was on his third pint and was just beginning to enjoy the night. The pretty blonde sharing his table had an IQ matching Forrest Gump's, but for what he wanted of her that would be just fine. Because if the body she had had a brain to go with it, he might have been in danger of falling again. That was something he didn't even want to think about.

The pub was packed like a Friday night and a band of young people were making a racket at a nearby table. Owen couldn't help noticing because one of them had on a weevil mask. The guys were putting the mask on in turns to make the girls scream, nothing really bad. Noisy, but not bad.

"Oi," Owen jerked, rising before he had grasped what had really happened.

The last boy wearing the mask seemed to too much into the game, and toppled the group table causing a near panic. One of the girls had disappeared underneath it.

"Calm down," he shouted in an authoritative voice. "You're going to hurt someone."

That turned the weevil's attention to him. Owen only had time to raise his arm to protect his throat from its monstrous jaws. With his other hand he tried to neutralize the enraged creature the young man had become. There was a clash, shards of glass and a strong smell of brandy; Owen's brainless date had come to the rescue.

"My god, Dave," a girl shouted.

"What's going on here?" a bouncer asked, walking over.

Then Owen brandished one of his numerous fake cards and ordered the evacuation of the bar.

"Honey, could you handcuff him, please?" Owen told his one night girlfriend, she had probably told her name but he hadn't bothered registering it. "Are you okay?" he asked the young woman whose friends had managed to pull her out from under the table.

"I'll be fine. What about Dave?"

"We'll take care of Dave. You'd better go home," he replied.

Owen's arm was gushing blood, so he grabbed a towel to make a makeshift bandage around it, when his mobile began to vibrate.

...

Using her usual sources Tosh had had trouble finding anything tangible about Ethan Raynes, except for the fact that chaos seemed to accompany him wherever he went. Tired of wasting her time she finally entered his name followed by the words mask and costume into an internet public search engine. The results left her speechless.

More research only confirmed her first results. She reached for the phone and called Jack.

"Hello, Jack? I'm sorry, but I think we have a real problem."

"Really?" Ianto's voice replied.

"Ianto? Is Jack with you?"

"He better be. This is his mobile you rang."

"Tell me he didn't dress up as a weevil."

"Not really his kink or mine. I gather you've got an idea of what's going on?"

"Ethan Raynes, our weevil seller, is a wizard, and he's already done this once before. Did Jack ...?"

"Did Jack change? Yep."

"Does he still know who he is? Is he lucid?"

"Well that remains to be determined," Ianto replied.

"When you've finished playing the fool, pass me the phone," a voice that Tosh barely recognized said. "What's going on Tosh? Did you find something?"

"Jack, is that you?" she asked, "You should put Ianto back on the phone."

"As far as I know, I'm the boss, not Ianto, or you. Why don't you tell me what you've found? I'm guessing it's serious if you're calling. Is it about Ethan Raynes?"

"As I told Ianto, he is a wizard, and he's already done this once."

"What?"

"Bewitch disguises so that those who wear them become what they are dressed as."

"Oh," Jack's very feminine voice gasped. "That would put our weevil customers in danger of causing some damage. Warn the others. We're on our way."

"Can you hand the phone to Ianto?"

Jack rolled her eyes but threw Ianto the mobile and went to get her coat.

"Ianto?"

"Yes, it's me, but I don't know what Jack thinks"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Jack, even if she remembers she leads Torchwood, seems to be convinced she is a WWII nurse."

"A nurse?"

"I'm waiting," Jack's new voice said.

...

...

"Okay," Tosh said. "Remain calm. Chicken or rooster, it's still a day bird," she summarised. "Put something over his head to block the city lights. That should calm him down."

At the other end of the line, Gwen was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, her beloved Rhys's beak preventing her from getting back into her car.

"What am I suppose to put on his head, a bag?"

"Since it's not plastic, it would actually be the best choice."

In the end, Gwen had to sacrifice her leather jacket. At least, once immersed in darkness, Rhys had almost instantly calmed down. Good, now she could begin to sort her mind. She glanced sideways at the mermaid costume resting on the back seat: things could have indeed been a lot worse.

...

The pub manager reluctantly helped Owen to deposit the pseudo weevil into the back seat of his car.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"I'll take care of him," Owen replied without more detail and a firm tone meant to reassure. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked his young date, who had just taken the initiative of installing herself at the wheel.

"I don't think you're fit to drive," she answered ingenuously, patting his arm. "Give me your keys."

Owen looked dubiously at the girl, she looked like if she was having the time of her life. Was it Jack Harkness's long proximity getting to Owen? He was less inclined to trust innocent enthusiasm anymore. On one hand they might too easily become perfect collateral victims, and on the other hand they could also turn out to be perfect frauds. To Owen the girl was beginning to look pretty much like an imposter.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked impatiently.

"Angie, don't you remember? Give me your key," she reiterated holding her hand out.

With an exasperated sigh, Owen went around his car and got in.

"I guess you're right," he admitted, handing her the keys.

"Suspicious?" she commented turning the engine on.

"The simple fact that you noticed, might mean that I'm entitled to," he replied.

"Where are we going?" she asked with a big grin.

"Mermaid Quay," he replied.

"What betrayed me?"

"Your reflexes. And my boss spends most of his time acting like a nutter, to the point that even we tend to forget he's far from being an idiot."

"You should introduce us."

"I'm sure I won't."

"Why is that?"

"Because there isn't a girl who can resist him, and his boyfriend will put me on decaf for three weeks."

"Oh!" she replied. "That sounds like a good reason."

...

"I'll drive," Ianto said.

"Okay," Jack replied after a slight pause for reflection and handing him the keys to the 4x4.

"Are you okay?" Ianto asked.

Jack seemed troubled, pensive or thoughtful. It was weird to see him like that, with the same traits, same expressions, same build, but what used to be a wig had replaced his mop of hair. His voice had climbed an octave, and he was harbouring an attractive cleavage.

"I feel somewhat confused," he or she admitted.

"You disguised yourself," Ianto summarised

"So according to you, I'm not a nurse."

"No, you're not a nurse or even a woman."

"Ianto, something is going on at the Terra Nova. You and Jack are the closest..." Tosh warned them through their comms.

"On our way," Ianto answered changing direction.

"Have you anymore details?" Jack asked.

"A panic broke out amid a costume party. Sorry, but that's all I have," Tosh replied. "I'm doing an inventory of the different disguises that are potentially dangerous that were sold or leased by our friend."

"Keep in mind that size can play a role in the degree of dangerousness," Jack added with an amused wink at Ianto. "By the way, how Gwen's doing with her chicken?"

"It seems to be under control," Tosh replied.

"Who dressed up as chicken?" Ianto commented ogling over his lover's legs.

...

Gwen had to swerve to avoid a huge rabbit pursued by two weevils dressed in jeans and wearing trainers, and most certainly not living in the sewers. She stopped the car between them and their prey to give it or him a chance to run off.

"I think you can find something else for a snack," she shouted at them getting out of the car with her taser gun ready.

Both ugly faces seemed to consider the issue and then the bravest launched itself at Gwen. She was ready; he took the discharge right on the forehead.

"One out," she said with a smile. "So what are you waiting for? Don't be shy," she teased the more timid one.

After some hesitation, he finally opted to retreat.

"Oh no. No way," she said engaging the pursuit.

Siren sounds going off in an adjacent street surprised the newly-made weevil, giving Gwen the slight advantage she needed.

"And two," she said handcuffing his hands behind the back. "Sorry, but for your own safety, I couldn't let you run off."

The car was a good three minutes' walk away and the guy was heavy.

"Okay, well you stay quiet here. I'll go and get the car and your buddy back," she told the false weevil lying on the pavement. She needed to be fast if she wanted to be able to load the two of them into the boot of her car before they regained consciousness.

...

"Wow," Angie gasped, pressing the brake.

Two she-devils mounted on high heels were beating up a weevil. A pirate, assisted by a Dead Eater, seemed to want to rescue him.

"Can you handle a weapon?" Owen asked searching into the glove box.

"I don't need weapons," Angie replied, rushing out of the car.

Owen followed her, and then stopped to watch; in less than three minutes Angie had subdued them all.

"Okay, let's see if I got this right. We've got three arsehole hooligans planning on beating down drag queens just for the fun of it?" Owen summarised while binding the hooligan weevil with the pirate's belt. The weevil was the only one who could have blamed it on the transformation; the other two were just your ordinary arseholes.

"What do we do with them?" Angie asked.

"We're taking those lovely she-devils, and the weevil. As for the two other morons they aren't our concern," Owen replied with a grin, leaving Angie to load the devils in the boot, while the weevil joined his counterpart in the backseat.

"You and your friends, do you have any idea what's going on?" Angie asked, when resuming driving.

"Some guy seems to have bewitched costumes."

"I already got that part, thank you," she replied, laughing.

"What are you exactly?" he asked.

"A slayer." At Owen's wide open eyes she added. "I think something like this did happen once."

"A slayer?"

"Long story. The man you're looking for is Gilles, Rupert Gilles."

"Tosh you've got something on a Rupert Gilles?" Owen asked through his com.

"Wait, I think I saw his name somewhere while researching about Raynes."

"I have his number, I'll call him," Angie cut in.

"Who's this guy?"

"He'll know how to stop this," she replied. "Where do I go now?"

"Well there, turn right, the car park entrance is a little further."

...

Ianto had to stop the 4x4, the area was cordoned off. People were running in all directions: cops, fire-fighters, vampires and demons of every kinds plus some sort of other strange creatures. Amid this chaos, there were also ordinary citizens who were simply trying to save their own lives, or trying to make their boyfriends or girlfriends to understand that they were _not_ what they were dressed as.

"I don't think we can be very helpful here," Ianto commented.

"Make a U-turn," Jack told him. "We need to find Raynes. If there's a way to stop this, he will know."

"Next street, turn right, and then the third on the left," she said after a while.

"I thought you said you had no recollection of buying anything?"

The fake nurse gave him a surprised look.

"I don't remember buying something, but I remember quite well confiscating the masks," she replied. "It's over there, look."

"It looks like someone is in," Ianto said gesturing at the dim glow coming from the back of the shop.

"You take the front door. I'll take the back one. He won't escape this time," Jack said, recovering the gun from her holster amongst the pile of clothes in the backseat.

The lock didn't give Ianto much trouble. He discreetly managed to find his way through the darkness of the shop. Pointing his weapon down, he advanced quietly towards the back room where dim light came flickering; candles. A half naked man was kneeling in the middle of a huge pentagram, he seemed to be praying but Ianto could only see his back.

"Weren't you taught to knock before coming in?" the man said with a dangerous edge to his voice.

"You've ruined my evening," Ianto replied in the same tone.

"I might be very sorry," the wizard replied, getting up with graceful arrogance. "But you didn't come alone," he added, hearing from behind his back the _click_ of Jack's weapon safety.

"No, in fact I brought my date," Ianto smiled. "Not too disappointed, I hope?"

Ianto cautiously remained outside the ceremonial circle, while the wizard remained carefully within its centre, casting a glance at the intruder who blocked his way out.

"Captain? You're sublime," he said, and then turning to Ianto, he added, "I don't understand why you're complaining."

"Enough Raynes," Jack snapped, now beginning to lose patience and sense of humour.

"You're right, enough joking," the wizard agreed, his foot knocking over a cup in which a mixture of herbs and spices was burning away, causing a cloud of dust. "Have fun," he said before disappearing behind a garments rail.

"He's got another way out," Ianto managed to say in the midst of a coughing fit.

But then, when they pulled the clothes rail, they found no exit.

"Teleported?" Ianto asked Jack, who had opened his manipulator.

"No, no residual energy," Jack replied puzzled.

"Magic?" Ianto suggested, but then, sweeping up the soil on which the dust had settled in an almost thick layer, "Hatch?" he guessed.

"Hatch," he finally announced with a satisfied smile, opening the door he'd just found "Oh, our Weevil maker didn't choose the safest exit or the most enjoyable."

...

Jack and Ianto trudged down the drain for a good half hour before finding Raynes in good company. Three real Weevils seemed ready to argue over his favour.

"Get me out of here," he moaned.

"And why would you want us to do that?" Jack asked. "I think they like you and I would have thought it was mutual."

"I don't know if you know this, but they're very sociable creatures when you get to know them," Ianto added as one of the weevils was curiously feeling Raynes.

"You need me to break the spell," Raynes argued as he was surrounded. "And you know that very well; otherwise you wouldn't be here, am I wrong?"

Jack shrugged helplessly.

"You've got no idea what you're giving up," she said with a knowing grin. "And they're not going to like it," she added more seriously to Ianto.

The young man moved slightly to let a way out, while Jack jammed her gun into the waistband of her skirt.

"What do you think you're doing?" the wizard said now truly anxious.

"We're on their territory, so we're going to do it gently," Jack said and without turning her back on the sewer's occupant she managed to slip by Raynes' side.

"They are females and they are looking for a mate. Very carefully, we're going to let them politely know that you're not available," she added, taking Raynes' hand in hers.

"And do you really believe they're going to let us go that easily?"

"No, that's why we'll have to sprint. When you're ready, Ianto!"

Ianto then fired a shot into the empty tunnel startling the three lady weevils. Jack tightened her grip on Raynes' hand before breaking into a sprint through the tunnel by which they had come. Ianto rushed after them firing into the air to protect their escape.

"Let's take the first exit going up," he shouted.

Arriving at the first ladder going up towards the surface, Raynes meant to go first but Jack stopped him.

"What was I thinking?" Raynes said with a smirk. "Ladies first," he said, glancing salaciously at Jack's legs and back at Ianto.

"I'll go first," Ianto said, and he just did that.

The hatch opened on a deserted street. They were only two streets away from Raynes' shop. Ianto helped Raynes out and immediately handcuffed him.

"We'll make sure you're not giving us more trouble now," he said with a smirk "Jack?" he called, the Captain was arranging her skirts under her coat.

"My shoes are ruined," she replied with a disappointed pout.

"You're really sure you want me to break the spell?" Raynes asked. "Don't you two want to have some fun first?"

Ianto and Jack exchanged a contrite sigh; of course this idea was tempting.

"There are people dying out there. You better stop joking now."

"And what am I to gain?"

"It just brought you the choice between prison and sharing Janet's cell until the end of your life," Ianto said with a sarcastic smile.

"Who's Janet?"

"Only one of these nice creatures squatting the city sewers, except she has completely lost it and is a bit more aggressive."

"You must understand that I will need some ingredients ..."

"Jack, Ianto," Tosh called in their comms "Forget about Raynes, we don't need him."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"You only need to break the idol he used to summon the spell," she said.

"And how will I know that idol?"

"It can be anything, but you should recognize it easily, it will be in the middle of a pentagram."

"Ingredients, you'd say?" Ianto asked dangerously. "We should probably send him back to his beloved, don't you think so?"

"Don't tempt me," Jack replied just before sprinting towards the shop.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

"Damn, I wish I could have seen Jack as a woman," Gwen sighed.

"I'm sure she was gorgeous," Tosh replied with a smile.

"As for me, I leave it to Ianto," Owen grinned.

End


	31. Chapter 31

**Title:** An Interpreter Would Be of Some Use

**Characters:** Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, and Gwen Cooper.

**Rating:** PG

**Author's note:** Set during season two, but before Reset, written for a French challenge, the prompt being: _miscommunication. _This is the sequel of Let's Have Some Fun.

**Disclaimer:** Still not making money out of this. Characters are still belonging to RTD and the BBC.

**Beta:**

...

"dgeJgurYp yhhOoptep utéo !"

"Okay, I'll tell her," Jack replied.

Three weeks after the Home Showroom expedition, the five nice Fengeldubbitomîode'n were still welcome guests at the Hub and no one was complaining about it.

It was, in fact, impossible to send them home as their spaceship had been crushed by the rift. It was disguised as an old corvette, which a slight miscalculation in course-plotting had sent right into the rift instead of just surfing along its edge to gain velocity. They had been lucky to get out alive of course, but now they were stranded so very far from their original temporal-spatial destination.

The whole team had worked together to build a large pool in an empty storage room of the third underground, just to greet the lovely Water Flowers. Funny thing; no one complained about the extra graft, not even Owen.

In fact for once everyone was okay with Jack's mania for taking care of the harmless lost travellers, not that the rest of the team was usually less sensitive than their leader, but Jack's definition of harmless could sometimes be hazardous.

Of course, the Fengeldubbitomîode'n couldn't settle indefinitely in the Hub, they need a nice place where they could have a life of their own without interfering too much with Humans.

"Gwen, gYuo is okay to spend the weekend with you and Rhys. As for me; I won't play home interpreter, so you better fend on your own," Jack told Gwen.

"dirEpzjgOru jfyruHnvc iyuYsk Juy ?" oYoip asked.

"We're working on it. At least when we manage to get the time," Jack replied.

"irpsHrtu iu oWn zorpFhr !"

"Yeah, I noticed that, too," Jack replied with a wide grin. "And that could explain a lot."

"What's going on?" Tosh asked from her station.

"oYoip is saying that we all seem to really enjoy their company."

"Of course we enjoy their company, they're not fucking sods like most of humanity!" Owen spat with a disconcerting enthusiasm that was normally beyond him.

"Zorpfhr opj jfyruhnvc, Jak!"

"Yes, you're right. Perhaps, it wasn't such a good idea in the first place," Jack replied.

"What's the problem?" Owen asked anxiously.

"We were wondering about entrusting someone else with their evacuation to Bermuda ..."

"How that? It is a medical convoy. This is my responsibility, right? I'm still the doctor here, if you haven't forgotten."

"Own tYop direpZjgoru!"

"She said you have a thing for tYop!" Jack teased him with an amused smile.

"That's cobblers! Bullock, even! I don't have any preference of any kind, you can tell them..."

"lgjpozytrp utr,vjh he oWn tuyrhfi !"

"No, he still didn't get that part," Jack chuckled.

"What? What I didn't get?"

"The part where it's not because we don't understand them that they don't understand us," Ianto explained, arriving with a fresh turn of coffee.

Jack sent him a smile from ear to ear.

"At least, we've got someone here still able to use his brain," he commented.

"What 's that supposed to mean?" Owen and Gwen asked as one, while Tosh was wondering if she should feel offended or not.

"Because you're going to say you aren't spending your nights down there, perhaps?" Gwen said.

"Are you planning on doing Jack a scene?" Ianto asked mockingly.

"And I thought I was a pervert," Owen cut in. "If you think we don't know what you two get up to with these marvellous creatures as soon as we leave the Hub, you're wrong."

"qjfHg oejfYe oWn gEn ?"

Jack, almost as much as the lovely Fengeldubbitomîode'n, was clearly having the time of his life.

"What is this about?" Ianto asked, a bit contrite.

"What's happening?" Gwen asked, eyes widening.

"Can we know? Or is it private?" Owen joined in.

"Nope!" Jack finally managed to articulate.

"I think they're scoring a point ..." Tosh stated as she was getting won by the laughter.

It took the activity detector alarm going off to bring everyone back to the harsh reality of life as a Torchwood Cardiff employee.

"You three with me. Ianto, you're monitoring us from here," Jack said.

"Why always Ianto?" Owen protested.

"Because his brain doesn't melt at the mere sight of our lovely guests," Jack replied, pushing Owen toward the exit.

"You're pretty much the only one so far to have this effect on him..." Tosh said before she could stop herself, blushing from ear to ear as she realised what she had just said.

Everyone, beginning with Jack and Ianto, was staring at her in amazement.

"If even Tosh starts to lose it, I think it's more than time for me to take things in hand!" Ianto said.

Jack agreed with a grin before leaving.

"TO hreoiyrh jeiu?"

"Yep!" Ianto replied.

With his usual efficiency, Ianto managed to guide the team on their field mission, and at the same time, prepare the departure of their very nice residents. Obviously the harmless and lovely sentient sponge baths would need an interpreter to accompany them during the journey, and that person could only be Jack!

Pragmatic as he was, Ianto decided to put in for a week's vacation. After all, he and Jack were due, and there was every reason for it to go through, because he'd never taken any of his leave!

In fact, he quite fancied a short trip for two to Bermuda...

End


	32. Chapter 32

**Title**: Myfanwy want to join the game.

**Characters:** Myfanwy, Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness

**Rating**: PG-13

**Beta:** tempusdominus10

**Words count:** 695 more or less.

**Written for:** lady_of_the_hub but doesn't fit the prompt.

.

Again the boys were playing at that silly game. More than once she had pondered the rules and tried to sort out the purpose. They always played when it was only the three of them left in the Hub. But she was never invited to join in.

Once or twice she had tried to remind them she was there, only to be rewarded with a chocolate bar then sent back to her hatch. It was frustrating; she wanted to join the game.

As usual, they were fighting over a glittering toy. Funny thing; the winner would always give it back to the loser, fitting it nicely around his wrists. Afterward, there would be a lot of giggling and other strange sounds, -punctuated with shouting-, until the two players would end up exhausted and completely untangled.

She watched as they rolled on the floor; gravity on a slack grip pulled the toy out of reach, tossing it away from grasping hands. Immediately she dove, catching it. She explored it with her tongue, tasting metal and sweat... and faint residues of chocolate bar. This time she was going to play, whether they liked it or not.

"Myfanwy!" the younger one shouted, clearly upset.

The older one just laughed.

"Seems like we've a new player," he commented.

"Sorry, but I'm no game," the younger one replied.

She landed on one of the upper catwalk-barriers of the Hub where they couldn't get to her, playfully showing them the confiscated toy. Tonight she was going to play and be the winner.

"Give it back," the young one shouted.

Right. She had to give it back, it was the rule. But which one of them would she choose? The younger one had been her friend forever, but the other one was more fun and much more generous with the chocolate.

"Myfanwy," the young one called out again.

"I think we're going to either give it up or negotiate," the older one stated.

"Okay I'll get the chocolate."

Now –that- was progress. The older one was undoubtedly the wisest.

She dove, making a nice swirl around the cave before landing on a spot not too far but still out of reach. There, instead of keeping the funny toy in her beak, she grabbed it in her claw by the little chain linking the rings of metal together and waited.

"Oho," the older one said. "I think we've got a problem."

Oh yes, a problem, Myfanwy thought to herself, because you really thought I was stupid enough to release my prey to catch a chocolate bar you're very likely to only pretend to throw at me? Like you haven't done it before. Send the chocolate and then you'll get your toy back.

"You may think I don't know what you're up to..." the young one said, showing the chocolate. "Your choice. You give it back now, or I feed Jack with your treat, and you know he will eat it all," he added dangerously waving the chocolate under the older one's nose.

"kiiiiiiii!" she yelped, a resounding no.

"Be a good girl, give me the handcuffs back and you'll get your snack. Play dirty and you won't have chocolate for a while."

If anyone was going to play dirty, he was the one. He may –know- her, but the reverse is also true.

"Let me try something," the other one said, taking the chocolate bar.

For a second she feared he would eat it on the spot. He could be very gluttonous sometimes... -she remembered.

"You're going to be a nice girl, right? Come and get it," he said, coming toward her, taking the chocolate bar between his lips and showing it to her.

She glanced at the young one; he had stepped back. She dove, catching the chocolate, but the older one had snatched her claw, – he was really heavy—and was trying to disengage the toy from her grip. She was pleased. Wasn't this what the game was about, trying to capture that ridiculous toy?

She was stronger, but he wouldn't let go, so she decided to carry him to her nest. At least this one was willing to play with her. If the younger one wanted to join in, he very well knew the way up. And he would be welcome.


	33. Chapter 33

**Title:** Punishment and Forgiveness

**Characters/pairing:** Jack/Ianto

**Rating:** NC-17

**Summary:** After Adrift, Jack gets annoyed by Ianto taking advantage of his trust and wants to make him understand what it mean for him.

**Warnings:** Sex, slight bondage and sweet torture. Nobody gets hurt except for some feelings.

**Author's note:** Written for a French challenge.

Beta:

...

Jack fired into Ianto's flat without warning. Not that Ianto had been even slightly surprised at the intrusion; in fact he was more or less expecting him. Once again the young man had betrayed his boss and lover's trust. He thought he was right in giving Gwen Flat Holm's coordinates and he wasn't likely to apologise.

"Mr. Jones, this time you have exceeded my patience," Jack said as he came through the door.

Ianto was about to give his point of view, but the Captain tucked his coat in Ianto's hand before adding: "I think this time, you deserve to be punished."

At first, Ianto frowned, then lifted his eyebrows. Was he making this up? Or was it smut he could sense behind the boss' apparent severity?

"I'm not sure that would be appropriate according to our Job policy," Ianto replied flatly, testing Jack's real mood. Whatever the reason, Jack's trousers' looked unusually tense.

"Let me remind you Mister Jones that I'm the one making that policy," Jack stated, then pointing toward the bedroom, he added:" You've got 5 minutes to be naked like a worm and ready to receive your punishment."

Jack kept his eyes stern and his mind completely closed to Ianto's empathic abilities, but in counterpoint, his lips were curving in a satisfied grin that gave little to the imagination.

Ianto gave him one of his sarcastic half smiles. Submission wasn't his thing; then again, maybe Jack was entitled to be angry with him. If Jack wanted to solve their little argument over the pillow, Ianto was okay with that. Jack had never been anything close to mean or brutal. So why not?

"Five minutes?" he asked.

"Only four minutes left," Jack answered sternly.

"Okay, then."

Minutes later, Ianto was getting out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, strictly naked. Jack was waiting there, having only removed his boots and socks. He then took two very tired ties out of the paper bag he had brought with him.

Ianto stood patiently, waiting for Jack's directive.

"On your knees, legs apart, hands on your ankles," Jack said, pointing at the bed.

Ianto threw him a questioning glance, but obeyed without arguing. Being tied up was definitely not his kink. He wasn't really a control freak, but he still hated to lose it. It wasn't about trust either, because he had an absolute trust in Jack.

Jack used the soft silk ties to cuff both of Ianto's wrists to their corresponding ankles. Always professional, he made sure the knots were loose enough that they wouldn't hurt or prevent slight changes in position.

Jack wasn't rude in anyway, but Ianto still couldn't help feeling vulnerable as he wondered what else Jack had in store for him in that paper bag. The immortal was deliberately taking his time, playing with Ianto's patience, mainly because Jack knew very well that Ianto was a very patient man when it came to work and everyday life. But when it came to sex, especially if a certain Captain was concerned, not so much.

Ianto was still kneeling on the middle of the bed when Jack fitted himself to the Welshman's back and proceeded to dig further in the bag. The sound made by the paper made Ianto shiver with anticipation, but as he dared a glance over his own shoulder, he got a gentle reminder on the top of the head for it. Before the tap, however, he'd had just enough time to catch a glimpse of what Jack planned for him. Torture by feather... a rather large, fluffy ostrich feather. Just thinking about it caused his body to tense in response, and a slight killing urge crossed his mind. How could he have been stupid enough to allow Jack to tie him up?

Jack began teasing the feather across the small of Ianto's back, dancing the float-y quill along his shoulder and down his arm until it reached his hand. Then he drove it forward to the top of his neck and down along the other side.

This was the very first round, and already Ianto's body hair was standing straight. He had to focus on his breathing to keep some control over himself to avoid throwing all sorts of despiteful invectives at Jack.

Clearly Jack wanted to enjoy the game, first playing gently with Ianto's neck and then slowly working down the spine. He pushed Ianto forward, head first in the pillow.

Head down and arse up, Ianto was now even more exposed, giving Jack's feather complete access to his more intimate parts.

Jack, of course, didn't get straight there; he let his torturing tool run down along Ianto's thigh outer to inner, sliding it up along the inner portion then dragging it down the other thigh, all while slightly brushing the young man's –by now- very engorged balls. And the torment continued, even as Ianto gritted his teeth.

Ianto finally lost all sense of time. He was just a mere ball of nerves quivering with desire and frustration. He couldn't even restrain his groans anymore when the hand with the feather started viciously teasing his manhood without any relief.

To conclude the demonstration, Jack turned him until he lay on his back, concentrating torturous caresses on Ianto's pained member. It wasn't enough, obviously, but every time Ianto tried to meet him for a less superficial contact, Jack withdrew the feather back to his inner thigh and started teasing again.

Finally Ianto couldn't stand anymore and so tears threatened, wetting his eyes. He desperately tried to hide his defeat in the pillow...

"Jack ..." he pleaded, exhausted.

At last Jack stopped! He bent beside Ianto, darting a dark look into his lover's wet eyes.

"Now you know what I feel when you betrayed my trust ..." he said in a sad, calm voice.

"Forgive me," Ianto heard himself squeak painfully.

"Same here," Jack replied.

"Jack, please ..." Ianto begged again, seeking comfort in the hollow of Jack's neck.

The Captain sketched a small smile and caught the lubricant. He took his time preparing his lover, even as Ianto writhed forward in a desperate attempt for more contact.

Then, Jack waited until he was deep into Ianto to undo the ties that still held the young man, giving him back his freedom.

Ianto immediately clung onto him like a desperate man, biting and scratching as he fought to regain control of the situation, impaling himself more forcefully on Jack until the so desired, long awaited orgasm washed over.

Then Ianto collapsed on him and in his arms.

"There'll be payback, you know that?" he couldn't help but gasp before giving way to exhaustion.

"I look forward to it," Jack replied, squeezing a little more against him.

...

Ianto woke, having fallen asleep stuck to Jack, stuck being exactly the right word. And if it wasn't enough, his muscles were sore as if he'd spent the previous day practicing some intensive sport. His wrists and ankles were on fire!

And Jack was still there! The Captain had spent the night here with him. He hadn't moved, quietly waiting for revenge the young man wouldn't fail to take. And he was waiting at the ready, of course, his erection darting into Ianto's thigh.

Ianto disengaged softly from him and opened his eyes so they fell on Jack's blue ones. Those eyes were full of expectation. "This guy has to be sick," Ianto mumbled as he got up with some difficulty.

"Where are you going?"

"Call of nature ... and a good shower won't hurt either," the stiffened young man grumbled. "And this isn't an invitation to follow me ..." he added.

Jack didn't reply, instead displaying a pout wholly inappropriate on an authority figure yet perfectly adequate for messing with Ianto's head.

For a while, he enjoyed the water running over his sore body. Jack seemed to have chosen the safe side, that of patient obedience.

"Jack," he finally resolved to call.

"Yes?" he answered eagerly, emerging as the very devil from the box.

"I could do with a massage, a real one."

He didn't have to ask twice. Jack's magic hands virtuously applied themselves, unravelling all the muscle tension the feather had caused. Jack first worked Ianto's back up and down to the ankles, and as Ianto turned round, Jack continued in his usual vein of professionalism, still working from upper body and downward.

As the Captain reached the ankles again, Ianto made him raise his head, purposefully drawing attention to the one remaining bit of himself that the masseur had neglected by intent.

Jack didn't need to be told twice, and at this game, he was positively matchless, at least as far as Ianto was concerned.

As usual, when playing that game, Ianto would always remind himself that he'd need something to hold onto, as Jack always seemed to lose some hair when Ianto caught at his mope of hair...

Ianto let himself sink to his knees, finding himself again immersed in blue eyes. In them, abandonment and trust shone equally, capitalized by the fact that Jack knew him so well and knew how bitchy he could get.

He definitely was not unconscious ... Immortal, but not unconscious!

Ianto took the mouth he was offered, kissing his willing partner passionately. Shower stalls not being the most comfortable of locations for coital pursuit, Ianto suggested a strategic retreat to the bedroom, preferably on the bed...

Curiously, beds, his or Jack's, were not their favourite places to play. Office walls or desks as much as any other planar surface were clearly higher on their personal hit parade. The back of the SUV was nice, too.

Ianto recovered –from the nightstand drawer- the handcuffs he'd never re-used on Jack since he returned from the Valiant. But Jack was quiet; was it too soon? Ianto turned, afraid he'd made a mistake, but Jack was waiting quietly for his instructions like an eager puppy waiting for his master to throw the ball.

"You've been waiting for that all night, right?" Ianto asked.

The Captain nodded, eyes sparkling with greed, and Ianto couldn't help but smile. He'd woken up without the slightest desire for revenge.

Jack's demonstration had been more than sufficient to make him understand what his companion could feel when Ianto was taking advantage of his trust, but on the other hand, he wasn't going to be disappointing Jack again anytime soon...

Ianto handcuffed him behind his back and recovered the fluffy tormenting tool.

"Don't move, or I stop immediately, understood?" He said.

Jack nodded his agreement, and Ianto started to work the feather over Jack's body, requiring his lover to keep steady. Ianto went on and on until Jack was just lust and groans, then with great fondness Ianto prepared him, eyes riveted to Jack's, their shared vision blurring with desire.

Ianto took him with strength and passion, taking his time, working the man to his limits. Because this was Jack wanted from him, because that was what Jack loved...

"Sweet little bitch," the Captain said affectionately, nuzzling in the crook of his neck.

"Forgive me," Ianto reiterated.

"Apology accepted, Mr. Jones," Jack replied with a tender grin.

End


	34. Chapter 35

**Title:** The Rescue

**Characters:** Myfanwy, Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness

**Rating:** PG-13

**Words count:** 434 more or less.

**Written for:** lady_of_the_hub; sequel to Myfanwy Wants to Join the Game.

**Prompt:** Sleeve, amorous, and I'm better equipped to handle him.

**Beta:** tempusdominus10

Angrily, Ianto rolled his sleeves up; that damned pteranodon was not going to have the last word. Jack was his mate not hers and she should know that by now. He hurried up stairs to her nest and flung the door open.

Jack was lying flat on his back; Ianto could see it. Hell, he was staring, namely because Myfanwy had proudly sited herself on his prey's stomach. The immortal was trying as best as he could to keep her probing beak away from his face with his left hand. His right one was trapped in the cuff Myfanwy was still firmly grasping in her claw.

"This ends now," Ianto barked. "He's mine."

"I love it when you get possessive." Jack commented, angling his neck awkwardly in order to look at Ianto, who was behind him.

Myfanwy didn't seem to agree with Ianto and snorted her wings in disapproval.

"Some help would be welcomed," Jack added.

"How the hell did she manage to get your wrist locked into that?"

"You don't want to know," Jack replied with a grin.

"Let him go, girl," Ianto told his prehistoric friend, more calmly. "Trust me, I'm better equipped to handle him."

"Just in case you care," Jack said trying to get Ianto's attention, "I don't much like her harsh skin rubbing against my sensitive parts."

"Next time you go pteranodon hunting, put your trousers back on," Ianto replied.

"Next time we play naked hide and seek remind me to lock your pet in."

By now, Ianto had quietly reached the strange couple, and was now standing next to them. Myfanwy really looked like she didn't know what to do next, but was still not about to release her prey.

"You're a good girl. You won," he said patting gently her beak where it met the eyes. "Not giving you enough of my time, lately?"

Myfanwy came to rest her beak on his shoulder as he crouched to disengage the handcuff from her claws. She let out a chuckle, but let him do it.

"Nice. Now let him go," he whispered softly, driving her away from Jack. "Let it be just the two of us as it used to."

"Thanks, but if I'm disturbing, let me know." Jack groaned mockingly as he got back to his feet.

"You'd better got a shower," Ianto advised him, still patting Myfanwy. "I'll be there soon."

"Don't forget to lock her in."

"In fact I'd rather let her out. She needs a little exercise," Ianto said scratching her gently under the beak.

As she had understood, she looked at him with amorous eyes.

"Never mind," Jack replied before leaving. "As soon as she's not in the Hub while we're playing together."

End

**Author's note:** As for Jack being naked and Ianto still dressed? I'd reply: first because I like it when Jack is naked in wrong situation, and secondary, because Ianto was winning, and I like it when it's that way.


	35. Chapter 36

**Title: **Gift in Disguise

**Characters:** Owen, Ianto and Jack.

**Rating:** PG (Friendship)

**Challenge:** # 004 – Gift

**Summary:** Owen has never been the kind to say thanks.  
**Words count:** 725 more or less.

**Author's note: **written for Torchwood Classic. Set sometime after Dead Man Walking.

**Beta :****czarina_kitty**

...

Ianto was in the kitchenette brewing the morning coffee. Owen was late. Ianto turned only slightly to acknowledge his entry, and went on with his task.

"Hi, mate," Owen grumbled. "Did some clearing out and found this."

Displaying a disgusted grimace, he sat the paper bag beside Ianto's tray.

Ianto raised a scornful eyebrow and threw a glance at the paper bag.

"Though you'd rather have it than me throw it away." Owen added.

Ianto looked at him in a puzzled way.

"Blue Mountain?"

"Yep, I always enjoyed good coffee," Owen replied getting annoyed by Ianto's suspicious tone. "At least, I used to."

"Okay," Ianto said still staring at the four coffee tins.

He didn't look convinced but didn't try to push.

Things had gone as Owen has hoped. Ianto, like him, had never been of the very demonstrative kind. Owen turned to leave and then changed his mind.

"Keep this for you, mate."

This time, Ianto raised two scornful eyebrows.

"Don't waste it on people who wouldn't appreciate it," he added as an explanation.

Ianto nodded.

Owen turned to leave again.

"Owen."

Owen stopped, but didn't turn back.

"Thanks."

Owen turned slightly annoyed and ready to retort.

"For not having thrown it away. It would have been a shame," Ianto added with a knowing smirk.

Ianto moved to go back to his coffee making, after having carefully closed the paper bag hiding the precious coffee.

Owen left him to it. Since he was dead, Ianto had been the most supportive. Although they had never been friends, they had grown to respect each other with time. Being a dead man walking didn't make him a more enjoyable colleague. The girls were annoyingly concerned or compassionate with him and Jack, who was responsible for the walking dead man part, was acting the bastard. Ianto had found the words forcing him to look upon his fate. It hadn't been a speech -Ianto wasn't of talkative kind either- no, just a little sentence by the coffee machine. It had taken time for the words to sink in but in the end that was it.

Later that evening:

"Drinking coffee on your own?" Jack asked.

Everyone had left; it was only the two of them. Jack had been finishing with some phone call in his office and Ianto had gone back to the kitchen and had brewed some of Owen's Blue Mountain. He was sipping the first mouthful.

"Not drinking, this isn't for drinking, but for savouring," Ianto corrected taking another sip.

"Didn't mean to be disparaging. You know I love and respect your coffee."

"Not mine."

Jack frowned; Ianto looked as if was doing some sexual experiment.

"And whose coffee would it be?"

"It's Blue Mountain."

"Yeah?" Jack waited, watching Ianto go on sipping the hot beverage without offering him a cup or any explanation for his attitude.

"Where does it come from?" Jack asked getting wary.

"Owen."

"Owen brought coffee?"

"Yep!"

"And why can't have I a cup?"

"I don't think he would like it," Ianto replied.

"What make you think that?"

"He said he was about to throw it away and you've been a bastard to him lately," Ianto explained taking the last drop and holding it in his mouth to enjoy.

"I'm not getting the point," Jack said at a complete loss.

"Have you ever been to Owen's flat?"

"Sorry, still don't get it."

"He doesn't even have a coffee machine. At home he used to run on instant."

"So he bought coffee, couldn't use and finally brought it here when he realise he would never buy a coffee machine," Jack offered.

"That's Blue Mountain, Jack."

"You already said that. What's the deal about that?"

"It's one of the most expensive coffees in the world."

"How expensive?"

"More expensive than caviar!"

"Oh!" This time Jack was getting it, this was a present, a present in disguise. "Should I be worried?"

"Don't be silly."

"Can I have a cup?"

"Only if you promise to be nice."

"You wouldn't like me nice."

"It's not about me."

"Nice with Owen?"

"Yep!"

"No way," Jack answered in a flirtatious way. "He needs me to be a bastard, and I'll keep on as long as he needs that."

"Okay," Ianto agreed. "I'll make you a cup, but you better not let him know."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

End.


	36. Chapter 37

**Title:** Naughty pictures

**Fandom:** Torchwood/NCIS

**Characters/pairing:** Captain Jack Harkness/OMC, Abigail Scuito.

**Rating**: NC17 for smut.

**Word count:** 890

**Summary:** As an investigation takes him to New Orleans, Captain Jack Harkness crosses path with a local, the inimitable Abigail Sciuto.

**Author's note:** written for 30_interdits' challenge, prompt being _photo & voyeurism, Jack pairing with any character, with NC-17 as minimum rating_.

**Beta: **imzadimylove

…

_New Orleans, summer 2003. _

Abby came to this party to take pictures, and she'd already taken dozens. One of the advantages of digital technology was that there was no point in counting, you could do one shot after the other and sort them later. A New Orleans' party, what better playground could she dream of? What greater choice of subjects? Because Abby loved to photograph people, people in their originality, in their uniqueness.

And as a matter of fact, that guy was one of a kind. To start with, and not to spoil anything, he was rather handsome, even if to Abby's eyes this was far from being a factor of interest in itself. His attire, on the other hand was much more incongruous: despite the tropical moisture, the man seemed determined to keep on the heavy woollen coat he wore.

It was an army greatcoat, a genuine antique, as worn by British officers during the war. The rest of his clothes probably dated from the same era. However they looked new and spotless, all the more surprising when taking into account that most of the other guests were streaming with sweat while being much more lightly clad.

He was sat at the bar, flirting with the bartender while downing glass after glass of water. But his mischievous eyes were constantly sweeping the room with definite interest. On several occasions they'd landed on Abby, and they'd exchanged smiles with a strange complicity charge. When she, with a simple gesture, silently asked for permission to take a picture she'd been rewarded with a beguiling smile as he quietly acquiesced.

But that was earlier in the evening.

Since then, she'd changed subjects more than once, although she couldn't help coming back to him like a moth drawn to a flame. The camera loved him. The bartender took a break, and the Captain - at least according to his coat's stripes - plastered on a smile that would turn on a saint. She snapped a picture and he noticed. He didn't take offense, and even seemed to find it fun. As the bartender walked around from behind the counter, the Captain discreetly beckoned Abby to follow. She didn't waste time pondering. She followed at a distance, wondering if the bartender knew.

The garden of the residence, with its dense and tropical vegetation, offered numerous dark corners, for one night's lovers. The Captain chose a secluded one well lit by the pale full moon which enhanced the whiteness of his skin against the darker skin of the young bartender's; the coat had quickly land on the ground without any care.

She snapped pictures from the first tentative kisses, faltering hands just feeling new unknown territory while discarding clothes frantically. The Captain, shirt wide open, braces hanging on each side along a three-quarter down trouser, had let the bartender take the lead. Backed against a large mangrove tree, his head thrown back, he gave himself fully to the ravenous mouth of his one night stand. He looked beautifully debauched and strangely sensual, causing a sudden and violent desire in the young apprentice voyeur's belly.

She was glad she had invested in a high capacity memory card, and had fully emptied it before coming to this party. Having finished with the Captain and being satisfied that at least for a while he would be unable to impose his will, the young barman made him turn around. The Captain immediately leaned against the tree without protest. His too long shirt was spoiling a little of Abby's view. Anyway, his partner quickly positioned himself against his back to undo a cufflink, then seized his right wrist and pulled it off of the trunk, then twisted the arm into the hollow of the Captain's back to remove it from the shirt, and then he replaced the Captain's hand on the tree only to repeat the manoeuvre with the other hand. The young Creole performed this routine with slow methodical movements, keeping his willing victim firmly pressed against him in some possessive and sensual manner.

Abby continued photographing the couple until the bartender was finally satisfied, and returned to take his place behind the bar, leaving a half naked Captain behind him. The latter had left himself slide to the ground next to his coat and didn't seem to feel any urge to get dressed.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" he asked.

Abby silently walked out of cover. On the man's face there was no shame and no embarrassment to be seen, just blue eyes full of mist tinged with mischievous impertinence: it was very unsettling.

"You knew I was there," she replied defensively.

"I would have been disappointed if you'd declined my invitation," he joked, showing a wide smile before asking for a hand up.

She helped him up and he got on with shamelessly rearranging his attire in front of her.

"Would you like to have a look at them, with me?" she was surprised to propose.

"In fact I would love that?" he replied with a grin. "Miss?"

"Abby, Abigail, and you're Captain-"

"Captain Jack Harkness," he replied, offering her his arm. "Yours? Or mine?"

~ End, or not, who knows? ~


End file.
